work_towards

I have no reason to believe it is deliberate. If it is deliberate, it is very poorly executed because my reality is unscathed. I think it is a self defense mechanism about the other person's internal stuff than it is about controlling or abusing me. It isn't abusive, so much as very very annoying.

that is correct probly

I was trying to avoid writing 40 paragraphs long history of the relationship since the beginning. :)

I know. but by that time everybody already feels bad and it's my fault because I raised the initial disagreement which now never existed in the first place. So I just stirred up the whole situation out of nothing apparently.

Since the actual issue is resolved, but everything is still escalated, then we just transition to arguing about who said what. Which is tiresome and pointless. And I am accused of lying when I am not. I don't like that and it's very difficult for me to deescalate.

that's not what gaslighting means.

in this case we WERE disagreeing. but basically I was right so the other person changed their position. which is what I wanted, except then they immediately forget that they held the opposing position but we are still in an argument when that happens so it must be my fault for starting the argument over nothing.

I mean both of us have ADHD

We were arguing about personal matters that we are both involved in.

This just happens with this one person. I'm not like, delusional. Or such a big bully that people back down to placate me.

And how can I go to the one that's playing the audio

In what situation would one not be researching somethingS?

Get multiple toothbrushes and toothpastes.