this post was submitted on 18 Mar 2025
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Gaslighting used to be a more colorful, sinister description of the act of manipulation. To be gaslit involved careful reorganization or reassessment of events, often traumatic. Now it’s a synonym for lying. Reminds me of tumblr diminishing “trigger warnings”
Don't get me started. I've got trauma from an ex's careful manipulation that happened over four and a half years. Multiple times during when I truly thought I was losing my mind.
It took years afterwards for me to feel I could have any baseline trust in my own memory and my own interpretations of other people, because how in the hell could I have been so wrong about the ex? How could I have been so blind to so much manipulation, that with the right puzzle pieces in place and the benefit of hindsight is now so obvious?
It's been more than a decade, and still when I'm challenged on my recollection of events, I tend to default to not trust myself.
I sincerely don't want anyone to know the meaning of gaslighting first hand like I do. At the same time, I wish people would stop overusing strong specific words when describing more "regular" banal bad stuff.
I understand your frustration. Remember that people do it with everything. Exaggerating is part of storytelling for many people, and depending on the people and the culture, a small lie or exaggeration in service of a good story isn't really considered a bad thing.
But I agree, I wish people wouldn't do it with clinically significant terms.
It isn't only part of storytelling but literally one of the strongest forces of language change.