Image Transcription by @applesforthis on tumblr
[Descriptions of images: A social media post with a series of comments.
From an unnamed user: I'm bored, tell me about a time when you seriously misread social cues and it made it weird. I'm not talking "you too" when the waiter says enjoy your food. Give me something that keeps you up at night.
From Stephanie D: One time when exiting a completely destroyed public one toilet bathroom, I mixed up "I did not do that" and "it smelled like that before I went in" and said "it didn't smell like that before me" π€¦πΌββοΈ
From Lbmisciagna16: I'm an RN in an outpatient clinic. When finishing with a patient I said "I plan to see u next week," combined with "Let's shoot for next week" when I confidently said "I plan to shoot you next week."
From Kris: I meant to tell a customer "if you have any questions, don't hesitate" and "it's no bother" at the same time and told her "if you have any questions, don't bother" π
From Vegas: one time i accidentally grabbed the sonic worker's finger bc i thought it was a straw she was handing me
From Cassie Vasicak: I once greet a customer "welcome to birth control" instead of "welcome to Burger King" because I was just thinking about my birth control
From Crystal: Tried to say "we're like the black sheep" and "we're like the step children" of the neighborhood and stared directly into my neighbor's eyes and said "we're like black children"
From Amanda Klatt: I meant to ask a woman what gender her baby was and I accidentally said "what flavor is that baby"
From Rach: "I was carpooling with my coworkers and a guy started drifting into my lane nearly clipping me, I screamed out "HES COMING IN ME" instead of "hes coming into my lane" π
From audrey may: bumped into an older gentleman by mistake. i meant to say "i'm so sorry" but also "are you okay?" so instead i just shouted "ARE YOU SORRY??" i stared at him to process and just walked away defeated
From Heather_the_Badass: I asked a waiter for a box for my remains (instead of leftovers).
From MilitaryDoc: Principal announced we'd have Monday off of school (my birthday), I jumped up and cheered... before he commented that a teacher passed away overnight and her funeral would be held that day
From appleuser7754496: I had just moved to NYC. Someone tourists stopped me on the sidewalk and asked me for directions to the subway. I gave them directions to a Subway sandwich shop around the corner
From πͺ¨: After an interview the hiring manager put her arm up to slide past me and I GAVE HER A HUG π
From lovereetks: I saw a guy trip and fall on the sidewalk and rushed forward to help them. I was thinking "I hope they're alright" and "did they get hurt." Kneeled down, locked eyes, said "I hope you're hurt".
From Jessica Linn: My husband said "whatever tosses your salad" at a work meeting because he thought it meant the same thing as "whatever floats your boat" π
From kirahhArgh: One time when I worked at a gas station, a guy was filling up like 20 gas cans. I meant to ask him, "are you preparing for the apocalypse?" But what I said was "are you preparing for the holocaust?"
From Mae: Got into an elevator with a woman who told me what button to press. Hesitated so bad I said "sorry I'm blind". She looked mortified, pressed the button, and I had to stare off as if I were rlly blind
From JWHigbie: I work in healthcare. Always saw the doctor in scrubs. Saw him in public, regularly dressed, and said "I didn't recognize you with clothes on!" IN FRONT OF HIS WIFE.
From FosterPupz: Guy at Starbucks took my order, and I guess my brain was thinking her was going to say "anything else?" So when he said "Have a nice day" I said "No" and he goes "ok no pressure," and I wanted to dieee
From Rachel: the first and last time I ever spoke in court I called the judge "your majesty" by accident instead of "your honor" π«
From R Y L Y: guy introduced himself as "Pita" and I called him Pita for a week before I realized he had a Boston accent π π«£
From J: This man with caterpiller eyebrows approached me while I was browsing. He asked if I needed help and I said no I was just eyebrowsing. It was 7 years ago and I think about it at least once a week π« β οΈ
From Desiree Taylor: In high school asked this guy in wheelchair how he kept his sneakers white...I still think about it from time to time π
From Tracyyy π π πΈ π₯₯ β¨: Taking the uber to the airport and the driver asked "American"? Proceeded to say my nationality and my entire backstory around it for him to then say "nice but American Airlines or ?" β οΈ
From Roskilly's: Thought the bartender said "you look nice!" So said "aw, thanks" and did a little twirl. She repeated herself and said "would you like ice?" scoop in hand and everything. π€¦π»ββοΈ
From Kimberly Rose: My (male) boss was excitedly explaining something to me and instead of saying "don't get too ahead of yourself" I said "don't get too hard" ?????
From Chelsey: it was summer and i went to say "it's hot out there" and "stay cool" to a very elderly man and i said "stay hot"
From Myranda Pasenelli: I had a phone interview for a job I really wanted and when she said tell me about yourself I panicked and said "I'm a girl" and we sat in silence for like 5 min π my brain froze. I didn't get the job
From BJ: Worked at a dog hotel. Was sleep deprived from finals and saw a woman holding a dog and on autopilot took the dog and said "she's going to make so many new friends!" We were in Trader Joe's.
From i.love.you.iknow: One of my residents was walking his dog and I asked what the dog's name was and he said "Beo," I assumed short for Beowulf. AND I REPEATED IT. The resident had a speech impediment. The name was Bear
From DrumπBassπBubblesπ«§: I told a girl at the bar that I really liked her hobo style... I meant to say boho. She gave me a death stare and didn't talk to me the rest of the night π« π₯Ή
From Nat: I work retail. Tarte shape tape was on sale, so I naturally greeted a customer "Hi, SHART".... We locked eyes as she walked away.
From Hailz: Olive Garden waiter asked me if I wanted "soup or salad" 4 times and I just said yes every single time π
From almostdrrllylilly: waiter at a fancy seafood restaurant cut up my steak for me and had it on the fork and i leaned over and took the bite like he was feeding me, silence was deafening
From Laurenπ: I worked in a call center and said "bye bye. Love you" to a patient on the phone. We both erupted in laughter and he hung up on me π
From saltyinFL: when I was waiting tables I meant to ask them if they were done with their spinach dip but for some reason in a southern accent I said dat dip done tho? π My husband still says that to me 10 years later
From Poop23: Saw a dog while hiking. Shouted down "what's your dog's name?!" They said "tofu" I meant to say "I'm gonna come say hi" but I said "I'm gonna come" emphasis on come.
/End descriptions of images.]
This happened to our second as well, but sadly the surgery didnβt help.
Was this to fix a tongue tie? I'm not sure if it was the surgery or some other factor, but ours started breastfeeding after having the procedure. The post-surgery "exercises" were the worst though - basically massaging a newborn's recently separated skin twice a day was not pleasant for anyone.
It was for us but, at least as far as I can remember, we weren't really given any aftercare instructions. Once it was done they put us in a private room and told us to try feeding. It went better than usual but that was more or less a fluke.
We wanted to do breastfeeding but couldn't; ultimately what worked was that the doctor gave us a syringe with some plastic tubing and told us to run the tubing along a finger, let the kid basically latch onto the finger, and use the syringe to push formula through the tubing. That kept the kid fed until we were able to switch to bottles.
I'm glad you got it sorted and your kid is doing well. They seem pretty damn resilient.
Love your username, btw.
My kid is awesome (and yes, resilient, if terrified of bugs and a little traumatized by pet loss). So much personality. I was scared of being a parent but I'm happy I did because I'm so proud of them. Thank you for noticing.
Thanks! Why? Most people connect it with the Toynbee tiles (which are cool and interesting, but not where I got it), but most people who do so mention it in their comments. You didn't, which makes me curious.
It was the Toynbee tile connection for me. Something that I look for while traveling.
If you ever go to Philadelphia and I randomly happen to be there, I can direct you to one.
I got it from Marvel's Toad. Specifically the novelization of the first X-Men movie. I didn't become aware of the tiles until well afterwards (and I'm not exactly sure whether they existed beforehand).
I've told this story on both Lemmy and Reddit beforehand, but just as a matter of interest ... I used to take the train to Philly, then walk to where I worked then. One day I took a different route, keeping my eyes down, and stumbled - almost literally - on the aforementioned tile. It was genuinely shocking to see my online username embedded in the ground.
Thanks for the offer - I used to live in Philly, so have seen a few around. I stumbled on my first while walking through a sketchy part of Port Richmond.
I would not have guessed that source of your name - after reading the Toynbee tiles Wikipedia page I would have guessed the historian, Bradbury story, or Clarke story.