A place to share alternatives to popular online services that can be self-hosted without giving up privacy or locking you into a service you don't control.
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Open registration is a flag in your config file. Its normally not there by default. Plus half the mobile apps do not support account creation pages of you have the flag turned on.
Room settings are what controls view/join roles from federated instances.
Im pretty new to this space, so if your up for talking shop.
Yeah, you can turn off registration without a token. Then, if you want someone to register you can issue them a registration token, or manually create their account.
Federation can be turned on, on a case by case basis.
You can set rooms to invite only and not discoverable. Alternately, you can use an invite-only space that allows users to join rooms from there.
The first two parts are done in the server config, see the synapse docs. The last is done once the server is setup and running as an admin.
All of these are possible and very configurable. I chose synapse for my home server and it's set up like this
Not sure what your privacy/security needs are, but it would be much cleaner to just not allow federation if you don't want any info to leak.