As a mom of men, it has always concerned me that, while we were supporting our girls, we left our boys to flounder a bit. We spent so much time telling girls that they could do anything and they could be 'just as good as the boys' and talking to women about glass ceilings and 'don't let the man keep you down.' What did we tell our boys or rather what did they hear?
this post was submitted on 18 Jun 2025
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To your point, I think that there is a fundamental issue with how we talk about success and failure. We effectively target white straight cis men setting them up so that they can never really succeed. As the majority, at least in terms of social and political power, we recognize that they have significant privilege in our culture. We weaponize that privilege such that all successes are external (the system is pushing them up) and all failures are internal (must be something wrong with them if they can fail despite having all of those advantages). Everyone else, to varying degrees depending on how much social and political power we perceive them to have, has the opposite logic applied to them. We say that their success is personal and special because they do it in spite of the system working against them and we blame their failures on the system.
There is of course legitimacy to that reasoning. There are many roadblocks that, especially visible, minorities face that white straight cis men do not. That doesn't make this mindset not problematic though. The biggest issue with it is that we apply the general to the individual. Does a rural white kid whose parents both work retail have more privilege than Jaden Smith just because of his skin color? That's of course an extreme example but the point is that the totality of a person's circumstances is more than just how their biology is perceived by the culture. Privilege does make success easier as compared to people in otherwise similar circumstances but it certainly doesn't guarantee success or mean that successes don't have to be worked for.
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(2 replies)
A good politic should not be sold.
People should chose it by themselves because that's the best thing for them.
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You can't really do anything. Men had privileged position in the society for millennia. Now you're basically asking them to resign this privilege. They will not do it voluntarily. It doesn't make sense for them on any level. They will push back and the harder you attack their special rights the harder they will push back. It's only natural.
I think the only thing you can do is to educate them about democratic values so that while they are regaining power they still respect the rights of other people and don't create authoritarian state. This is what clearly failed in the US.
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I don't know. How do you teach empathy?