this post was submitted on 28 Mar 2024
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No Stupid Questions

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

We don't do it for the purpose of increasing responsibility. I mean , I didn't, maybe other people do. I just really wanted a couple little mini monsters following me around.

When I was like 30, I was out hiking and I saw some guy with three little kids, the kids were hopping from rock to rock, and the littlest one ran up past the siblings to hold the dad's hand. It was super cute. My parents were kinda uninterested and afk, so I haven't seen a lot of examples of dads just having fun with their kids.

That little family was inspiring, in the sense that it opened my mind to a new way of thinking, but also in the sense of taking in breath, it felt like I had been holding my breath and finally stopped. I realized I didn't necessarily have to be like them, I could use their bad/mediocre parenting as a "what not to do" list, and still do some of the things that they did that were good. I could go hiking with my kids, I could teach them how to build a campsite out of nothing, or how to build a server, or how to put your thumb on the end of a house so it sprays really far.

Sure it's more responsibility but it's also really fun.

And, tbh, all the nice things in life are even nicer if you can share it with people. That goes double for kids, because they don't know how shitty the world is. You just gotta make sure they understand and appreciate the fun stuff and don't get spoiled.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Everyone values different things. Personally, I'm not quite ready for kids (even though I'm past the age where my parents had kids and some of my friends/colleagues my age have kids, I'm about your age), but I'm ready to take on more at work. I find it rewarding and I can make more money. And although money doesn't create happiness, it buys some dope shit. And not advancing at work just gets boring and repetitive. Ig it's like that urban legend about sharks needing to swim...

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Do you have anything you care about? I take on volunteer tasks for causes I care about. Other people care about family, their workplace, etc. It just seems like you aren't strongly motivated by anything besides personal comfort?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I dunno man. Would be too much hassle for me. I'm in my 30s and struggle not falling into depression every time I get friend zoned, which happens all the time. Dating sucks. I just want to be loved. Having children, being a manager (especially in my field / NGO where politics is a big part of the job) is just way too stressful.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I'm a greasy overweight diesel tech. Stop saying friend zone. That is an easy way to never get with someone. Get a hobby that you like and learn to talk about it without being a snob.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Different people find joys in different things (some people get more out of charity than they put in)... and different people have a different capacity for stress and energy.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You may be a perfectionist who's so afraid of failure that it currently (rationally or irrationally) outweighs the motivation to succeed by a significant margin. You'd like to do some bigger things in life but you self-sabotage by distracting yourself because the thought of actually doing things is way too scary / stressful.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Armchair therapist much? To me the examples given in the post specifically aren't about success, they're about the things people that do not directly count as success but that do require you to devote at least part of your life to it.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

I don't like it when I don't have some challenges or goals in life, I don't like feeling like I'm just coasting along. I'll try a new sport etc so I have a project, and I do a bit of volunteer work towards getting people involved in sports I do.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Those people have bought into the grind culture and will probably get burnt out

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