AI Confessions

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Did you fake your résumé with GPT? Break up with someone using an LLM? Spend 3 hours debating Kant with a chatbot?

You're not alone.

This is the confessional for the age of artificial intimacy. Say what you did. Or what the machine did to you.

(Also, this description was written by an AI. Of course it was.)

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so i often go to chat.com. i already got whipped twice because i failed the boycott.

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At some point during a conversation, ChatGPT gave me a link to a catalog. The chat went on.

Not too long after, I accidentally clicked away and lost the link.

The noble thing would’ve been to scroll back, maybe use the search bar or Ctrl+F and find it myself.

But I didn’t.

Prompt: “please remind me of the catalog link that you provided me above”

As the link reappeared on my screen, I saw a montage of headlines flash through my mind. The energy cost of LLM queries, the server racks, the carbon emissions. And here I was, using a billion-parameter model to avoid a scroll.

The realization that I have fallen prey to this new layer of GPT-induced laziness dawned upon me....

I’m sorry.