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The original was posted on /r/autism by /u/arosec30 on 2024-03-13 15:33:26.

There’s an artist that has been both a safe place musically for me and a special interest for many, many years.

They have somewhat recently been involved in intense drama and have been “cancelled” by the general public. there’s not technically proof that they’ve done anything wrong, but in most other cases i would have assumed that the accusations are true. in this case, however, i’m finding it very hard to let go of this person. it’s not even a case of separating the artist from the music because the artist themselves has been very important to me.

i’m just conflicted and tired of seeing hate everywhere and not knowing if defending this person makes me a naive or bad person. i don’t want to just be labeled a stupid fan girl.

what do you guys think?

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The original was posted on /r/autism by /u/lilsparrow18 on 2024-03-13 10:08:25.

My assessor told me a month ago that she felt it was likely she would make a diagnosis, but it wouldn't be official until she could receive collateral for that last criterion on symptoms being pervasive since childhood. Today my mum spoke to her, and then gave me feedback and made the official diagnosis!

Even though I've been processing it a fair bit for the past month and making lots of posts and engaging with the autistic community, feeling like I was one of you, I still felt like a bit of an imposter until it was definitive. I'm so happy now it's definitive and I can stop fighting myself. I have anxiety disorders and PTSD so there was a lot of overlap or exacerbation of symptoms, and I just felt like a defective person because I just can't do some things. But now I know my neurological makeup is different, and while it will take time, I don't have to blame myself or be so harsh on myself anymore. I almost want to cry in relief but I can't. But at the same time, even though I've been told these words, nothing has really changed at the same time and the day goes on. It's just so hard to explain and I have so many mixed feelings and it's hard to tell if they're good or bad. I don't know what exactly I'm feeling or the exact reason for feeling it (which is hard), but I just know that I'm feeling a lot of things and feel a bit restless in my mind - that's probably the best way to explain it.

But anyway I am objectively so happy to finally have an answer. I'm really looking forward to reading my report when it's done over the next couple of weeks.

For anyone who is interested, I have level 1 social deficits, and level 2 RRBs.

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The original was posted on /r/autism by /u/giggzy9 on 2024-03-12 21:36:54.

Had this said to me for the first time, not even in a malicious way just a reactionary reply from a coworker. Has taken me so much to open up and begin unmasking and today was talking about my struggles with some stuff and this was a response and now I know I’m just gonna build the wall up again.

Diagnosis is so inaccessible in the UK and I can’t afford a grand to go private. Years of waiting for some people too. We are told self diagnosis is valid in our community but diminished elsewhere at all opportunities.

What’s everyone’s thoughts on this because I know it’s a matter of time before I have the diagnosis but I don’t think that should validate me.

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The original was posted on /r/autism by /u/BushidoBrown212 on 2024-03-13 08:23:53.

There’s this girl in my class whom I’ve taken a big interest in. After taking her to lunch at Dennys I noticed she did’nt understand social cues, and didn’t catch my flirts. My friend who is outgoing and has autism told me to bring the inner child out of her, such as play fights or thumb wars. But this girl is shy, has social anxiety, and I seem to have a hard time making her laugh. It was kinda of hard to find topics to talk about as I was the only one asking questions about her. She didn’t make eye contact most of the time, so it was hard for me to read her. But she did thank me for the lunch after. I understand I have to be direct with flirting, and to ask close ended questions. I have learned the basic attributes of someone with autism in the past few years. But theres a few things I need advice on which google couldn’t help.

1. She doesn’t ask questions like what my name was, would it annoy her if I talked about myself without asking? Im pretty modest and don’t usually talk about myself like that.
2. How do I bring the inner child out of her? Shes calm but shy, I don’t know what reaction she would give if I play fight/thumbwars with her.
3. Will she give gestures or her own social cues on whether she’s comfortable/uncomfortable or if shes enjoying herself?
4. I understand body language is important, but facial gestures are much more important. Should I give more facial gestures to show how I feel in every statement?
5. What kind of things could we talk about including her special interest? I’m wouldn’t want to talk about something that would bore her, but I’d like to expand on topics that could make her laugh.
6. How would I make her laugh? She said “Geszuheit” to me when I sneezed and she had a big smile on her face, it was really cute. My instinct was using dad jokes but I know she wouldn’t catch them.
7. How can I flirt with her? I understand being direct is important, but is there a way to compliment and make her smile like “your art is as pretty as you are”

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The original was posted on /r/autism by /u/Ol_Driker on 2024-03-13 07:26:44.

I find alot of other autistic people to be ignorant, immature, selfish and narcissistic, and I just can't stand it. I could also be part of the problem though as I'm very ignorant.

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The original was posted on /r/autism by /u/GMEm8m3loosemymind on 2024-03-13 04:58:24.

I need advice on what to say to her or if I even say anything at all. My daughter is in kindergarten and friends with an autistic boy. She is one of two kids he interacts with. They have met there and been friends for 4 years now. Recently however she did express that she does not want to be his friend anymore because he insists on deciding everything. Where do they play, what do they play, whom do they talk to, where do they sit at lunch etc. She said she also wants to decide on things but when she does he gets a meltdown. If he is not playing with the other kid he accepts, he expects her to come to him and play the game he has chosen. How do I navigate this? How can I help her? I want her to show empathy but to be honest it seems a tid too controlling. She does feel bad when he gets a meltdown but says it has become to much as she gets no say what so ever. She feels trapped. So what do I tell her ?

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The original was posted on /r/autism by /u/The-Incredible-Lurk on 2024-03-13 03:55:23.

How frustrating is it to have a sensitive nose?

Like, I hate so many smells!

I can’t abide olives or wine.

But a lack of taste makes me feel sick!

How strange to have to live within this rigid limit of exposure.

And don’t get me started on my texture sensitivity!

Modern day life is like an exercise of avoidance.

But I have to go into the office. I gotta be the one that cooks.

I gotta be the one that the kids glomp onto!

I wish I there was an opt out clause. (But not really, I know I’m very lucky)

Ps does anyone else feel like depression and anxiety just aren’t a viable option? Like I’ve got too many responsibilities?

(Yes I have burnt out before, yes I am in recovery of a medical episode)

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The original was posted on /r/autism by /u/Hairy_Pomelo_9078 on 2024-03-13 08:47:36.

By late I mean older than 22

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The original was posted on /r/autism by /u/PortalGuy9001 on 2024-03-13 04:28:53.

There was girl in my class who bullied me and was on my ass about a lot of things that after being diagnosed I realized was linked to my autism. (Tapping my foot, being fairly socially awkward and wanting to be by myself, being “weird” among other things. As well as being super anxious and depressed at times)

The other day I saw someone repost something she posted on Instagram, that basically said “repost if you care about people with mental illnesses/austim/depression” and holy shit it took every fiber of my soul not to send an angry message to her. It also made me realize to an extent it’s alright to mock/make of people for having/showing signs of autism or autistic behavior, up until it’s actually labeled as autism. It’s a terrible double standard and makes me wish I got diagnosed way earlier in life as opposed to when I turned 19.

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The original was posted on /r/autism by /u/MixAny50 on 2024-03-13 02:37:25.

i cannot express in words how much i hate camping.

i was recently forced into going on a camping trip by my family. i’m a teenager so they can just make me do stuff. i don’t get along very well with my family, they refuse to understand most of my struggles and quirks that come from being autistic. i also just find them to be unlikable. i still love them, they’re my family after all, but yk how it can be.

i REALLY value my personal space and me-time. i spend a lot of time in my room just recharging, as being around my family exhausts me easily. so it was to my horror when i found out the place we’d be camping out had only one room (it was a cabin camping type situation). to add to this, there was no running water or indoor plumbing, so i couldn’t even run to the bathroom to get a few minutes to myself. i had no outlet to recharge for THREE DAYS. my social battery was lower than it ever has been, for the last day of the trip i was constantly holding back tears of exhaustion. i had like two meltdowns and didn’t even have anywhere to go to isolate and cool down.

my family doesn’t understand that just being in the same room as someone is draining for me. i have to alter my mannerisms and mask for them just by being in their presence. it was like a non-stop performance for three days straight, and my family was bewildered as to why i was so put off.

to add to this, hygiene is very important to me from a sensory standpoint. if i skip my nightly shower i start to feel itchy, greasy, and generally gross. not showering for three days was horrific. i’ve taken two showers and washed my hair four times since ive gotten back, but i still feel like i smell like camping. and i have a seven hour shift at work tomorrow.

i don’t think i’ll ever let someone make me go camping again. worst experience i’ve had in a long time.

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The original was posted on /r/autism by /u/Slg407 on 2024-03-12 19:21:35.

for some reason i get really bad sensory overload when i hear french, the sonority of it gives me migraines and makes me feel nausea, when i lived in catalunya i had french classes in school and i had to leave multiple times to vomit because of the sound of the language, i have no idea why this happens, but it does.

this is very strange because otherwise i am not very sensitive to stimuli compared to other autistic people, but i am very sensitive to bright light and to some sounds to a lesser degree.

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The original was posted on /r/autism by /u/Ok-Theme8404 on 2024-03-13 00:36:54.

I (18F) got diagnosed with autism in November last year, and have received group therapy for it. While discussing how to proceed further, I brought up the topic of shyness and social anxiety. My therapist, who is specialized in autism, says social anxiety and autism don’t go together because social anxiety is about being afraid of social situations and autism is about an inability to conquer social situations. Because of this, I’ve been thinking over and over about whether I have autism or not, despite my obvious symptoms. What are your thoughgs about this? He was only my therapist during the group sessions, and he most likely will not be my therapist in the future, I’d just like to ease my mind a bit and possibly learn some more

TLDR: my therapist says social anxiety and autism don’t go together, so the imposter syndrome is kicking in. Want to hear your thoughts

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The original was posted on /r/autism by /u/OpenBoysenberry6204 on 2024-03-13 00:15:58.

i have been diagnosed with autism and i don’t like being autistic because i am a social person i don’t have any problem with having long conversation or looking at people eyes i have had normal grades at school even better than average without studying but some people in my family want me to tell other people that i have autism and i don’t like that because it’s not like it’s a life changing thing all of my friends had never once thought that i had autism but now it’s like it’s part of who i am now.

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The original was posted on /r/autism by /u/hotwing100 on 2024-03-12 22:20:35.

I hope this isn't a weird question but I grew up with a pretty specific idea of what type of girl I thought I was supposed to be attracted to, but the actual people I find myself being GENUINELY attracted to seem to be the exact opposite of those ideals.

What do I do? How do I deal with this guilt?

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The original was posted on /r/autism by /u/etherealstars777 on 2024-03-12 21:13:04.

I got my permit almost a year ago and while I have been out driving and it’s not like i’m bad or anything, it is an incredibly overwhelming experience. Most times after driving I would just break down in tears from the stress. I do want to drive, but at this rate idk if that’s going to happen. For any autistic people who drive do you have any tips?

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The original was posted on /r/autism by /u/v0rrtex on 2024-03-12 20:24:01.

I've tried to commit suicide in the past month twice.

I don't want my Mom to get upset if I do go through with it and succeed, I need to understand her point of view aside from grief.

Why is suicide a bad thing?

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The original was posted on /r/autism by /u/r_Effciency_16 on 2024-03-12 19:41:59.

Okay so I was watching this show with my family, and my sister was watching TikTok in the same room. Before that I could hear people eating which was bothering me, and the TikTok was also bothering me because sound is one of my main sensory issues. So I decided to stop watching it and went back upstairs. I messaged my mum to ask where I could watch the show because I did want to continue watching it, and she asked why. I told her it was because I could hear sound on my sisters iPad so she started saying "there was no sound" and just getting mad at me about it when I know there was sound.

She never shuts up about my autism and has made it my entire personality since I got diagnosed, always saying she's suspected it since I was a kid, but she hasn't. She used to just think I was a misbehaved kid and she never once suspected autism until my school brought it up when I was a teenager. It's annoying in general that she does it, but if she's going to do it, I'd prefer if she at least understood that I'm GOING to act like an autistic person because ... I am autistic.

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The original was posted on /r/autism by /u/Smart-Cable6 on 2024-03-12 18:27:04.

As I’m within the process of self-discovering and learning more about autism, I found out, that in my country (Czechia), people diagnosed with autism are not allowed to drive a car because of a law from 2010 (which is even not that long ago!)!

I feel really upset as it doesn’t make any sense, especially when I consider the inconsistency in which the rules apply.

If you get diagnosed early on, you can’t apply for a driver’s license.

But if you get a driver’s license first and are diagnosed afterwards, there is no way anybody finds out (unless somebody would tell the authorities) but you are basically commiting crime.

Literally, WTF. Things like this drive me insane and this country is full of nonsense like this.

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The original was posted on /r/autism by /u/um_brasiliano on 2024-03-12 16:28:30.

Recently, my gf got her autistic diagnosis, and I was very happy about that, and I decided to tell a friend. He said that I was being an awful person because I was "happy because my gf has a condicion that afect her life negatively" and that it's the same as being happy for someone having cancer. I got mad with his words, but now I'm thinking, am I a bad person?

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The original was posted on /r/autism by /u/etherealstars777 on 2024-03-12 16:19:27.

In every school I’ve ever been to they have autistic and disabled children take out the recycling and hand out newspaper. This is absolutely crazy to me, but my friends argued that it’s giving them a task or teaching responsibility but I think it’s in a way dehumanizing. Why aren’t they learning like everyone else? Is it because they just don’t care to accommodate their learning needs? If it teaches responsibility why doesn’t every child partake? You don’t need to be disabled to learn how to do recycling, they aren’t a clean up crew. I think it’s demeaning and limiting them to what they might be capable of if given proper education. And yeah people with autism specifically may struggle with executive functioning and its important to learn life skills, I think that this is such an odd way of teaching that(taking them to grocery stores, learning about money, ect would be much more beneficial). Why are they singled out, if I was made to do that I would internalize the fact that just because i’m autistic that means I have to clean up after the entire school. Am I looking to deep into this?

Edit* also if this is teaching life skills why do they do it for all 12 years of grade school? I am also in no way trying to say janitorial jobs are less then, they are as important as any other job, but these are kids, they should not be doing a job, it’s school. And obviously this is only what I see, they could be adequately teaching life skills in the classroom, which is what I hope for.

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The original was posted on /r/autism by /u/LightStar666 on 2024-03-12 11:45:57.

I'm curious in what ways autistic people feel they defy the stereotypes of autistic people.

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The original was posted on /r/autism by /u/CastevalOroborus on 2024-03-12 10:25:46.

Like I get you have a child with autism but how dare you make it all about you and how hard your life is because of this child? Not only does it hurt to hear, it's just completely underminding the actual child WITH the autism? Like yeah, the mother has to deal with meltdowns and food not touching, but the way they make it sound like a battle and as though the childs a burden is just rude af. What about the child that cant make friends because socialising makes them want to cry, or has to have things in such a specific way they feel like the worlds crumbling on them If they cant. And then these moms make memes about being "an autism mom" and how "hard it is" Please tell me im not the only one? (EDIT: title meant find not fine my bad)

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The original was posted on /r/autism by /u/Unable-Split3951 on 2024-03-12 09:50:58.

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The original was posted on /r/autism by /u/Brief-Dragonfly-4127 on 2024-03-12 08:51:36.

I say I am autistic, but I noticed with adhd I say “I have adhd.” I have never heard someone say something else besides “diagnosed adhd” but I haven’t heard “I am adhd” have any of you heard this?

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The original was posted on /r/autism by /u/roseTitanic on 2024-03-12 05:23:27.

I have been dating my partner for 7 months. And occasionally I’ll trigger a shutdown in her.

I am the only person to have ever done this to her.

She is smart, bright, charming.

I adore her, but I don’t know how to prevent causing these shutdowns in her. Where they are physically painful.

She says it’s because I emotionally process to fast for her. And it overloads her brain.

I am looking for advice here.

On how to handle this.

Neither of us want to break up.