Unpopular Confession

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Have a confession that is just too unique to share anywhere else post it here. Please do not substitute this for therapy. Your therapist needs you, and you might still need them.

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It smells sweaty, musky and earthy. I have, on many occasions, just sat and took it out, smelled it and thrown it away for hours. I am usually watching something on the phone while doing it.

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I have been to the mental hospital 41 times. My mental health despite seemingly "bad" isn't. I feel happy most of the time but there are just times (in the last 17 years) that I needed it. I once went to the mental hospital when I was 17 just to get out of going to school. (Truth is I was being bullied) But the way I looked at it, it was a vacation. Now I go when I have psychosis. As a person with paranois schizophrenia, bipolar, Borderline personality disorder, general anxiety disorder, dysthymic disorder and insomnia. It is no wonder I believe I am crazy. But they keep reassuring me I am not, nevertheless. I just lost my wife of 15 years, recently. She was my world. We had a happily ever after peachy clean relationship. At least that is what I thought until she left me under the guise of me talking to my family for another two men who were fighting over her (she flirts with them). You're asking was it my mental health. Well, let's ask her: "no, [name redacted] idk how damaged you think you are you are perfect" then the next minute "you talk to your family I am out" she screamed. Her words ricocheted through the corridors of my aching mind. And quieted the voices for a time. So there's that. Sorry for taking up your time. This is unpopular confessions. Is it a confession you think is unique post it here. Please don't substitute this for therapy.