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I have a friend named Mark that goes by Eddie. If you call Eddie “Mark” he will get offended because while “Mark” is Eddie’s given name it isn’t how he sees himself. Eddie prefers a different name.
Im not sure what the difference between my buddy Eddie and the situation you are talking about as it seems to be the issue is whether you should call people by their preferred name or not.
Because a pronoun is not a name.
There really isn’t a difference though. Calling her a him isn’t less offensive than calling Eddie Mark.
One reason why pronouns exist is that you don’t need to know someone in order to be able to refer to them. Forcing people to use someone’s preferred pronouns defeats the purpose.
Once someone has let you know how they prefer to be referred to then you are just being rude if you choose to do otherwise. No one is forcing you to do anything but when you choose to be impolite shouldnot expect to be praised for that choice.