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Transitioning in STEM (lemmynsfw.com)

submitted 6 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

152 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Followup: https://www.tumblr.com/beemovieerotica/781112056881496064/it-becomes-really-apparent-what-peoples-thought?redirect_to=%2Fbeemovieerotica%2F781112056881496064%2Fit-becomes-really-apparent-what-peoples-thought

More: https://www.thetransmitter.org/spectrum/ben-barres-transgender-scientist-shares-story/

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 6 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (11 children)

Is it me or is this a uniquely American experience?

I loved in quite a few countries and I've never seen this kind of absurd behavior. Granted, in a man, but I've never seen a man cut off a woman like that just because she's a woman, and I've never seen or heard comments even remotely about someone being "exotic". I've heard questions like "ohh, and where are you from?" in genuine curiosity, which is fine, I've never noticed overt racism like that.

Edit: to clarify, I am not talking about myself. Yeah I had idiots treat me like that and you just ignore them. I'm talking about never seeing this behavior in groups. I've lived in Mexico (loooasds of high testosterone machismo there) and even there I've never seen anyone that a women so disrespectful just because she's a woman. Same for skin color or sexual discrimination or whatever. I'm sure it's out there but in Europe, Mexico, Canada, I haven't seen it.

Come to think of it: I have seen some of it. A guy who thought that at in company martial arts classes he could grab women's breasts. I kicked him out immediately, I could not fire him unfortunately as that was not my call. That guy was of course a loud mouth American.

This just makes me think more and more that this may be a problem in all countries, just that it's a huge issue in the US.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

Granted, i'm a man

you haven't noticed racism and sexism because you are a male who's the "proper color" for the region in which you reside.

male privilege and white privilege are often misunderstood to mean like "special privileges" and poopoo'd because plenty of white men struggle to get by in this world, but that's not what it means.

it means the privilege of 'being taken seriously', the privilege of 'benefit is the doubt', privilege of 'basic respect and decency'.

it also has the benefit/drawback of 'privilege to be blind of misogyny/racism'. I believe you wholeheartedly when you say you've never seen it, but that's the "privilege".

The responsibility you hold in return for this "privilege" is you must believe the words of peeps who don't share this "privilege" when they tell you their experiences. after all, why would you see these things? How else would you experience them when you aren't directly a part of them?

'course you wouldn't! That's fine! Normal! why would you see them? those things aren't directed at you. that's really all the "privilege" is!

back to responsibility, be careful not to dismiss the words of people who have direct experiences of racism and sexism just because they don't match your own. remember, these things aren't directed at you!

have a good one

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Dear God.

No, not what i meant.

I meant that I never saw other people behave like this in public, in group meetings, in the day to day lives.

I'm not dismissing anyone, don't out words into my mouth. I was literally wondering if this issue is more prevalent in the US than in other countries because I haven't worked in the US. Every time I read about this its the US.

In companies that I have worked or have owned I have never seen this behavior and I have never been made aware of it. My wife has never experienced.iy either. Haven't seen this in Mexico, not in Canada either, not in Europe either. Mind you, these are personal experiences but I GOT EYES. I can see if someone behaves like an asshole and the only one single person that does come to mind in mexico, was a loud mouthed American who thought it okay to grab women's breasts.

Stop nit with the male privilege thing. I don't trample on your work, don't trample on mine either

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

I'm trying to tell you that privilege affects us all. im saying that words like 'i don't see it here' are a form of dismissal you need to be wary of using. Im not "trampling on STEM", im explaining that preconceived notions of fairness you have can color your perspective, because you have not been forced to see otherwise. when i said "be careful not to dismiss", i meant that your words were toeing the line towards dismissal. i can see upon reread that it could be taken worse than i intended, so i'll be even clearer in saying "you must be careful not to", not "you're being dismissive right now".

my whole point is: privilege is a double-edged sword and despite trying, your position in society means you cannot see these things as well as those who are forced to see.

Do you fundamentally disagree with this concept? Do you believe that what I'm saying is possible? I'm not coming at you from a high horse, im saying these things as someone who has reevaluated their own perspective with privilege in mind and wants to share what they've learned.

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