General Discussion

12861 readers

84 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy.World General!

This is a community for general discussion where you can get your bearings in the fediverse. Discuss topics & ask questions that don't seem to fit in any other community, or don't have an active community yet.

🪆 About Lemmy World

🧭 Finding Communities

Feel free to ask here or over in: [email protected]!

Also keep an eye on:

For more involved tools to find communities to join: check out Lemmyverse!

💬 Additional Discussion Focused Communities:

[email protected] - Note this is for more serious discussions.
[email protected] - The opposite of the above, for more laidback chat!
[email protected] - Into video games? Here's a place to discuss them!
[email protected] - Watched a movie and wanna talk to others about it? Here's a place to do so!
[email protected] - Want to talk politics apart from political news? Here's a community for that!

Rules and Policies

Remember, Lemmy World rules also apply here.

0. See: Rules for Users.

No bigotry: including racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, or xenophobia.
Be respectful. Everyone should feel welcome here.
Be thoughtful and helpful: even with ‘silly’ questions. The world won’t be made better by dismissive comments to others on Lemmy.
Link posts should include some context/opinion in the body text when the title is unaltered, or be titled to encourage discussion.
Posts concerning other instances' activity/decisions are better suited to [email protected] or [email protected] communities.
No Ads/Spamming.
No NSFW content.

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

Why can't I do a single thing? (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

20 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I cannot do a damn thing. Be it easy, be it hard, be it rewarding, be it just pure pleasure. I cannot enjoy a thing thinking it is just waste of time. I cannot carry myself to do a hard task thinking about the high effort it requires. Even if I break it into small parts, I would only do the bare minimum for a day or two and stop it.

My entire life is being passed away coming back tired, hungry and yearning for sleep, from a job I dislike to the core.

I am not moving towards my goals. I cannot quit this job. Time is passing. I'm stuck. Weekends cometh, I use them all trying to catch up on sleep.

Every week I'm doing just the bare minimum to survive thinking I might do something on the weekend and I don't. How do I break out this cycle? There's a lot more I could unwind upon but this post is already long enough.

Argh

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

I am diagnosed with ADHD and your experience sounds similar to mine, ie executive function disorder. Not getting anything done until the last possible moment, and then only the bare minimum because it was all I had time for.

Of the various strategies I've employed, having an accountability partner has been the most useful.

I Tell someone what I'm going to do, and when I'm going to do it by, and commit to talking to them about it reasonably soon after the time frame I set.

For example, I never had any success exercising until I started going to the gym with my father. It has been really good for both of us. We both want both of us to be healthier and we're helping each other do it. Sometimes one of us can't go and that's okay, we acknowledge it, move on, and keep each other on track. This has been so successful that I even went to the gym on my birthday.

I would really like it if you'd spend 5 or more minutes brainstorming and listing some different people in your life you could sustainably use as accountability partners, before this post is 24 hours old.

Please either comment or DM me ASAP about whether or not you're going to do this, and wait at least an hour before actually doing the brainstorming.

I don't want to see the list but I'd love it if you could message me with the number of people on the list, and what areas of your life they intersect with.

I'm going to check this comment and my inbox sometime between 24 and 32 hours from now.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Hi, first of all you all have been very nice to me putting up huge comments to help me out. Thank you so much. I'm kinda moved lol.

Coming to accountability partners, I think I am very shy person and I don't like sharing self improvement things with anyone irl not because they are bad (I have a sweet family) but I just don't like to share my goals and then get asked questions about it whether it is good or bad.

I have an online friend with whom I share a lot of things which I don't with people irl, and maybe I can convince them to be my accountability partner.

I have few questions about the goals though. Do they have to huge like the one you shared? Do I have to report back everyday to my partner? How do I go about it.

Once again thank you for looking out for an random internet stranger <3 I was gonna reply later to you all one by one, but you keeping the timeframe out for me to check on me had be typing all this on the spot. Thanks <3

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I can only speak from my own experience.

My strategy is committing to planning my day at the beginning of the day (9:10AM after I've gotten my kids to school) and then talking with my wife before bed about how well I managed to stick to the plan. Ie did I actually plan tasks for the day, did I accomplish those tasks, is there anything she'd like me to add to tomorrow's tasks etc.

Planning my day includes assigning time frames for the tasks, including one task right after planning. If I know I'm likely to want to play video games that day, plan a time and duration, and set an alarm on my phone to interrupt my play at the time I thought I should stop.

Try really hard to frame things in an analog way. Ie As progress instead of as victory or failure.

What I mean is you didn't do exactly what I asked, and that's fine you made real progress towards developing a sustainable solution.

I use a paper productivity planner to plan my day and I've found it very helpful. maybe do 30 minutes of research into options available to you.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

Thanks for the write-up again.

Don't get me wrong but having to report to your accountability partner sounds very daunting to me. I have tried making to-do lists with time blocking in the past and was only half successful with them. I'll try to implement the accountability method in a way that puts with less pressure on myself. Thanks.