this post was submitted on 04 Jul 2025
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Mildly Infuriating

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[–] [email protected] 225 points 1 day ago (2 children)

And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

Matthew 6:5-6

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 hours ago

Yeah I don't think they've read that bit.

[–] [email protected] 81 points 1 day ago (3 children)

When you spread out your hands, I will hide my eyes from you; even though you make many prayers, I will not listen; your hands are full of blood.

Isaiah 1:15

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 hour ago) (3 children)

There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.

Ezekial 23:20

(side note, while looking up this verse it brought me to biblegateway.com where it shows dozens of translations basically in a list, and here is what the MSG (The Message) version translated that one single sentence into:

“Her sister Oholibah saw all this, but she became even worse than her sister in lust and whoring, if you can believe it. She also went crazy with lust for Assyrians: ambassadors and governors, military men smartly dressed and mounted on fine horses—the Assyrian elite. And I saw that she also had become incredibly filthy. Both women followed the same path. But Oholibah surpassed her sister. When she saw figures of Babylonians carved in relief on the walls and painted red, fancy belts around their waists, elaborate turbans on their heads, all of them looking important—famous Babylonians!—she went wild with lust and sent invitations to them in Babylon. The Babylonians came on the run, fornicated with her, made her dirty inside and out. When they had thoroughly debased her, she lost interest in them. Then she went public with her fornication. She exhibited her sex to the world. “I turned my back on her just as I had on her sister. But that didn’t slow her down. She went at her whoring harder than ever. She remembered when she was young, just starting out as a whore in Egypt. That whetted her appetite for more virile, vulgar, and violent lovers—stallions obsessive in their lust. She longed for the sexual prowess of her youth back in Egypt, where her firm young breasts were caressed and fondled.

https://www.biblegateway.com/verse/en/Ezekiel%2023%3A20

How fucking creepy is that? First of all, the entire concept of this "translation" just seems like outright heresy, but what the fuck even is this?? Did the dude just read about massive dongs and it got him all horny so he wrote some Bible fanfiction in the middle of his "translation"?

Absolutely wild.

Edit: For people who don't click the link: This is one single verse according to Bible Gateway. This is not an entire section, this is the verse I quoted above as translated by the dude who makes this "translation." Or maybe Bible Gateway is wrong I dunno. Almost like having 3000 translations of your holy book dilutes it.

Edit: Because apparently people think I'd lie about something like this...

If you googled a single verse (this verse), and you saw this come up, how would you have reacted?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 22 hours ago) (1 children)

That translation is actually very accurate, but what you posted is 23:11-21, not just 23:20.

The Message is a “paraphrase” translation (“sense-for-sense”), which means it translates the concepts rather than just words (literal translation). Most Bible translations are literal translations, which is problematic because numerous connotative errors arise. Idioms, colloquialisms, and context are all lost in those translations. Today, the loss of context is often intentional, as restoring the context dramatically changes the meaning and puts it at odds with modern politically corrupted dogmas. To avoid those errors, The Message often translates groups of scriptures together instead of separately to achieve a more connotatively accurate english result.

If you were to read the same chunk of scriptures in another translation, you’d find the same content. Where The Message differs is that it attempts to translate idioms into modern (as of 20 years ago) versions, which often has hilariously anachronistic “how do you do, fellow kids” results.

That said, it’s one of the more trustworthy translations available, though plenty of grains of salt are still required.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago) (1 children)

Did you click the link? Every other translation is a single sentence. This is one single verse translated in The Message according to Bible Gateway. Why would they do that?

That said, it’s one of the more trustworthy translations available, though plenty of grains of salt are still required.

According to whom?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

I’ll just leave these here. They’re the exact website you mentioned using.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ezekiel+23&version=MSG

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 hour ago

Why would I lie about something like that?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago) (1 children)

Metaphorically, the whore in that passage is Israel. You could switch out the Assyrians and Babylonians for the various nation states that arm Israel today…

[–] [email protected] 3 points 14 hours ago

Isn't it so awesome that you can just make anything mean anything?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

I hate, I despise your feasts, and I can't stand your solemn assemblies. Take away from me the noise of your songs! I will not listen to the music of your harps. But let justice roll on like rivers, and righteousness like a mighty stream.

Amos 5:21;23-24

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

But let justice roll on like rivers, and righteousness like a mighty stream.

Just to be clear, the "justice" being referred to here is literal genocide performed by the Israelites.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 18 minutes ago

Eh, no? The transgressions are named in Amos 2:4-12; it's the slavery, the way they treat the poor, the greed, and the incorporation of polytheistic practices like sacred prostitution.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago