this post was submitted on 08 Jul 2025
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Yeah, that's actually kind of true. When you're working, you can shut off a lot of that stuff for a while, and power through. Then that's nine hours that you don't have to think about X, Y, or Z. It gives you space, so that emotions aren't as raw, and it gives you a structure. I would never suggest work instead of therapy, but I know a lot of people that went to work the day after their spouse died because they couldn't stand to be alone with just their thoughts.
Getting fired for being in a 'bad mood' when my ex-spouse told me that they wanted to separate took me from deeply depressed to suicidal, and I got to spend the next four days, three nights in a hospital. If I hadn't been fired, I would have... Coped. Not well, but I wouldn't have tried to taste-test a shotgun.
You’re absolutely right. The person in this post is a fucking maniac, and they’ve completely lost the plot, but they’re right for the completely wrong reasons.
Work is useful and therapeutic for people because it’s a way to derive purpose and meaning through the things people need from you. You don’t want to let your colleagues down, or have your missed work increase their burden. It’s also a distraction and something to do besides sit at the house with your thoughts like you said.
Therapy gives you mechanisms to cope in healthy ways with the grief. Work can be part of a healthy overarching coping strategy. But it can very easily be a maladaptive way to avoid dealing with it.
There are those who work to live and others who live to work…. And only one of those groups is doing it right…