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submitted 2 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[-] [email protected] 46 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Vile.

I trust my wife, and she trusts me. We trust each other not to ask for stupid brain-poisoning shit that humans weren't meant to have access to that could one day blow up horribly.

I don't have her passwords, she doesn't have mine. Our phones are locked. I could technically see what she's doing online I suppose via traffic snooping in the router logs but the day I feel the urge to do something like that is the day I kill myself for having abandoned basic moral principles.

We're apes, we have brains built for avoiding snakes in tall grass and finding water and berries. You poison yourself with surveillance, you feed your worst and most destructive impulses. Practice keeping secrets, practice being okay with not knowing. Trust isn't surveillance, trust is knowing that if something fucking mattered you'd be told.

edit: I want my wife to be able to break my heart because if she does she'll have a good reason for doing so. That is what trust is.

[-] [email protected] 23 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

It's only vile when you project insecurities or bad intent...

We both know each other's passwords for everything. We use a shared database for it. We both know each other's phone, unlock codes and often through laziness will just use each other's phones for shit. We shared the same bank accounts, we don't have separate money. We share the same vehicles....etc

What's mine is hers, what's hers is mine. Except literally.

We also both have each other's location. What do we use this for? Essentially nothing except when one of us is traveling, or someone is feeling neurotic/worried. The peace of mind knowing that your significant other didn't just die in a car crash part way to their destination and are still making progress is significant.

We don't hide things from each other, we've explicitly built a relationship of openness and trust, brought on by us actually_not_ trusting each other for a long time. We are completely transparent, and you know what this has helped build? Trust. Know what it has torn down? Insecurities. It's been great.

Would recommend.

[-] [email protected] 15 points 2 days ago

The peace of mind knowing that your significant other didn't just die in a car crash part way to their destination and are still making progress is significant.

Bless you but the moment I start being afraid of my partner dying everytime they leave the house will be the moment I'm getting back in touch with my psychologist.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago

Never went to work in a snowstorm? Or heavy rain?

I'm not OP, but my wife and I share locations, it's endlessly convenient for coordinating. Never abused.

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this post was submitted on 25 Jul 2025
630 points (100.0% liked)

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