this post was submitted on 20 Apr 2024
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>playing some mtg with my college group that meets up at my best friend's every friday
>one of the players asks if his friend can join next time we play
>nobody has a problem with it
>next friday rolls around
>everybody gets set up
>knock on the door
>best friend opens the door
>immediate regret
>actual fucking fecal smell emanates from this mass of unkempt hairy adipose
>try my god damndest to be polite and try to ignore the smell and just play.
>he picks up the game pretty quickly, and thankfully he doesn't speak too often because each time he opens his mouth the halitose burns my nostrils.
>we tolerate this for exactly 10 minutes before the poli-sci dude in our group slams his can of altoids on the plaguelord's side of the table and blurts "do not fucking speak in my direction again until you've fucking emptied this your breath smells like death."
>dead fucking silence for 10 seconds.
>plaguelord gets up, apologizes, and leaves
>we try to pretend this never happened.
>next week rolls around, its still on everyone's mind.
>knock on the door
>takes a few moments to recognize the stranger in front of us
>holy shit its the plaguelord, and he's fucking clean
>completely shaved his patchy neckbeard
>is wearing what looks like a brand new clothes, his jeans even still have a sticker on them
>smells vaguely like strawberries instead of rotten onions
>teeth still stained but the halitose is completely gone and replaced with mint.
>apologized for last week, asked if he could play again
>fast forward a few months and now he's a regular at our table, he even brings homemade snacks.
Has this ever happened in your groups or is this some sort of anomaly/divine intervention?
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[โ€“] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Believe it or not..... it's actually not particularly difficult to make it through basic. The military puts a lot of time and money into getting you there and they want to recoup that. If they kick you out, there goes their investment. For a period of time, they accepted ASVAB waivers. For those unaware, the Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery is the intelligence test you're given to make sure you're mentally fit to serve. We had a gunny that we found out scored in the 26th percentile. The man could hardly form a coherent sentence. Making it into the military isn't as difficult as people would believe (barring medical and criminal records, can't escape those).