this post was submitted on 05 Aug 2024
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This describes Christianity (to an extent). When I turned atheist (because I couldn't believe in God/Jesus anymore, not because I didn't want to) there is this very Church-shaped hole in your proverbial soul that needs time to close. It's a very sobering, yet lonely, way to live life, but due to the internet you don't find yourself lonely for too long, but I imagine it used to be a pretty terrifying way to live life pre-internet.
I am lucky my Christian family still loves me, and I know they only proselytize to me (every now and then) because they care.
This is something that is extremely difficult to process. Most religions that have persisted assuage some of our most natural existential worries (e.g. mortality, right vs wrong, free will, isolation vs being watched over).
When someone stops believing, all of those questions float back to the surface, and "we really don't know" is such an unsatisfying answer.
Yeah I grew up before the internet was really big enough to find people in my situation so I just had to suffer in silence because I live in a very religious area.
It created a lot of resentment that I've had to struggle through because I was basically ostracized whenever my lack of faith was brought up. Some of the kindest sweetest people I'd ever met suddenly would act as if my existence was a disgrace.