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“Fools! They made me into a free-range chicken ... and man, I never looked back.”

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“Ticks, fleas … ticks, fleas … ”

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Dizzy Gillespie’s seventh birthday party

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“Oh, wow! I can’t believe this thing! … Does my voice really sound that funny?”

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RECORDER

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“That was incredible. No fur, claws, horns, antlers, or nothin’ … just soft and pink.”

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The Far Side cast

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The role of the large woman in horn-rimmed glasses was played by Arlene Carmichael. Arlene had previously auditioned for several other cartoons before her “break” in “The Far Side.” / In the role of “the cow” was Jessica Van Horn, from Fenwick Farms. / All of the protozoans came from a drainage ditch on the outskirts of Shreveport, LA. Most of them now live in a Beverly Hills petri dish. / Various aliens, monsters, sharks and large mammals were played by Frank Slavens and John McCasker. (Earlier this year, both characters went down in a giant squid suit and were never seen again.) / Making his cartoon debut as “the nerdy little kid” was Jerry Miller. Jerry was originally turned down for the part of Sluggo in “Nancy”. / Cockroaches, ants, flies, spiders, slugs and assorted invertebrates were all set free but came back into the house. / Playing a multitude of parts (cavemen, cowboys, etc.) was Daryl Simmons. Daryl plans to try out for an upcoming role in “Beetle Bailey”. / In various “scientific” roles was Andrew Figg. Regrettably, shortly before his stint with “The Far Side” ended, Andrew was erased. / Special thanks to Luann Thatcher, who designed the black border.

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“Walkies! Walkies!”

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“Listen … you’ve got to relax. … The more you think about changing colors, the less chance you’ll succeed. … Shall we try the green background again?”

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“Ha! I knew you were bluffing, Amos! You never did have much of a poker face!”

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“Well, here we go again. … Did anyone here not eat his or her homework on the way to school?”

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At the I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up Building

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“There’s something different about that kid.”

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“I … could … have … sworn … you … said … eleven … steps.”

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“Well, we’ve done everything we can; now we can only wait and see if she pulls through. … If she doesn’t, however, I got dibs on this porterhouse right here.”

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Drive-by erasings

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My God! It could've been any one of us.

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“Listen! Just follow our distress beacon and send some help! … We’re in quadrant 57 of the Milky Way—on a planet called ‘Bob’s Shoeworld.’”

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Eastside Cafe / BOB’S Shoeworld,

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“Ah! The shed skin of some large, reptilian denizen. … And a bonus, Ellsworth! Here’s his wallet.”

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“Oh, for the love of—there goes Henry! … Rita, you’re closest to him—give that c-clamp ’bout a quarter turn, will ya?”

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“Mom! We were all singing ‘She’ll Be Comin’ ’Round the Mountain,’ but Randy won’t stop with the ‘whack, whack’ part!”

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“I dunno, Andy. ... Mom said we were never to go near the old Sutter place.”

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Suddenly, Fish and Wildlife agents burst in on Mark Trail’s poaching operation.

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“You’re gonna be okay, mister, but I can’t say the same for your little buddy over there. … The way I hear it, he’s the one that mouthed off to them gunfighters in the first place.”

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DOCTOR

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“Well, there they go again. The Stenbergs are always acting like life is one big musical.”

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“This all went down less than an hour ago, Sullivan ... body's still warm, no rigor, and when I push right here, it moves just like a bowlful of jelly.”

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