this post was submitted on 26 May 2024
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Not The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 47 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Damn millennial bandits! Send out a warning to all toast manufacturers in the area asap!

[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago

Time to ban avocados. Then those millennials will finally be able to afford houses.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago

My guacamole futures just went through the roof

[–] [email protected] 23 points 11 months ago (1 children)

But I just got in the 120 tonnes of toast in!!! I need these back!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Your ratios are way off, consider going by volume instead.

Also: so you have the imported fancy sea salt?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

I figured that each avocado would be good for 3 toasts. And I have people in utah at some lake just trying to dry it out for that rare salt.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 11 months ago

I might consider watch Fast and Furious again if Fast 11 contained a 40 ton avocado heist. The last one i saw was probably Fast 4

[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago

And they will be valuable if they can sell them in the next 4 to 6 hours!

[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago

.... aaaaaaand now they're all mush.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I hate that when I think about Mexican avocados I always think about cartels! IDK who is worse, chiquita or cartels!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

Chiquita is a cartel. The list of heinous shit they're responsible for is absurd.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

They’ll probably launder them into real estate; possibly a penthouse in Dubai or a townhouse down the road from Buckingham Palace or something.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

I’ve played enough Animal Crossing to know that you have to pester two tanukis twice a day about the current going rate for your produce, and absolutely DO NOT keep them for longer than a week!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

fre sha vocado