this post was submitted on 27 Jul 2024
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I'm going dancing tonight (lemmy.autism.place)
submitted 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

Meme: 4 panels of a man progressively putting on clown make up and wig.

1st panel: memorize a few scripts and jokes

2nd: remember to ask people questions about themselves and give them compliments

3rd: have a few practice conversations with myself before attending

4th: I'm going to fit in so well at the party.

Edit: Woo! I did it. I didn't really need to prep since I wasn't expected to socialize, just ask random women to dance. I asked a few ladies I had never seen to dance. They were pretty new and nervous, so I made sure to authentically compliment them and build their confidence. Afterward, I found a few ladies I had known for a while, and danced with them. One was fantastic! She had legit natural rhythm and was fun. I haven't had a dance partner like that in while, so I hope I get to see her more often. There was one new lady that was obviously a professional dancer, and I wanted to see what I could pull off with her, but ofc she was taken every time I went looking for her.

The shitty part was that it was wayyy too crowded, there were no quiet places, and drunk people were unintentionally rude with their lack of spatial awareness, so I would leave and go next door to take a sound break. My head is still ringing. Maybe I'll take sound dampening ear plugs next time. But in summary, it was nice. I plan on going more often, even if beforehand I think I am going to look like a clown 🀑

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Giving compliments is a super useful technique for any social situation. People don’t get that many compliments usually, especially men. Also compliment people for their non obvious traits. You don’t need to tell a very beautiful woman, that she’s beautiful. Compliment her on her choice of drink or footwear instead.

Social interactions are often improved by adding compliments.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)

You really underestimate my ability to compliment the wrong thing. My well-meaning compliments can either come off as passive-aggressive insults or hitting on them. Examples:

I love how you don't give a cluck about how you dress. It means you're confident in yourself and not shallow.

Did you shower just before getting here? You smell so nice today!

I love the color of your hair, and it looks so soft!

These are ones that I know because I was told they were rude. I probably don't even notice over 90% of them. I will just say them happy af, so what they see is someone either (a) tell them "cluck you" and smile at their face or (b) hit on their girlfriend right in front of them, both like an arrogant classhole. It's so embarrassing the times I find out. Endless cringe material 😩

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Embrace the cringe.

I love how you ~~don’t give a cluck about how you dress. It means~~ you're confident in yourself ~~and not shallow.~~

~~Did you shower just before getting here?~~ You smell so nice today!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

There's no way that filtering is going to happen in real time. If I analyze every single thing I say, I would be mute. By the time I've processed my thoughts, the conversation has moved on. Embracing the cringe is the only viable strategy. That, and having a normie around to warn the others beforehand.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Parties a basically a mission:

Sneak in, take the food and leave.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

Do the drugs is missing in your list.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

Thank you! πŸ™‚

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

Dances like a robot

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

so happy for you!!! check out those earplugs, i use some from a brand called eargasm, theyre a bit on the expensive side but theyre comfy and reusable