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[Trigger Warning: R*pe] How do I cope as a victim/survivor? (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Society facilitates media and people spreading harmful misinformation that makes victims and survivors question themselves. Unlike individuals, we can't just become hermits and escape society.

I struggle with this personally because it deteriorates my mental health. It's difficult to be happy instead of depressed or anxious. I know there is no support if things fall through. I know organizations and people will bait & switch promising aid to waste my time and further gaslight me.

I want to change all of this, but I'm not sure how. I don't even know if I'll ever be safe.

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I can't claim to fully understand the things that you've gone through, but I've been dealing with my own past and have noticed a few things about my thought processes.

Fisrstly, for me at least, it's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that "nobody cares". That's probably because of social media focusing on the negative or me looking for things to be upset about. It's not really true through; a lot of people have been through horrible things and there's a lot of advocates out there campaigning for rights and protections. Ultimately, I'm not alone, even though that's how it feels some times.

Possibly related to the above, I also have been putting pressure on myself to "fix" these issues. Often to the point where I'm "not allowed to be happy" because there's so much suffering in the world. But I saw a post where someone brought up that being an advocate is a full time job with training and a required skillset. I don't think it's fair for me to put those kinds of expectations on myself, especially with my own mental health issues. I'm trying to adopt a mindset of doing what I can, where I can and not stressing about "not doing enough".

Anyway, rambling over. Not sure if my experiences are helpful, but there you go. :P

If I may give some generic unsolicited advice: Take care of yourself; give yourself space and time to heal. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to move forward quickly. Take care of your physical needs (sleep, hydration, exercise, diet). And good luck.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Hey, thank you for replying.

I agree that it's faulty to think nobody cares, and I do have some who do care about me.

However, ~75% - 95% of individuals I've encountered have either ignored my dire circumstances, or even actively gone out of their way to invest their time, money, energy, etc. to harm me.

I pay a 'grocery tax' because other self-destructive shoppers at specific stores will ram their carts into me, take pictures of me, etc. I have to either order delivery, or shop at more expensive stores where I haven't experienced this extreme conduct.

I once had a bicycling accident where I had a head-on collision with another bicyclist who another bicyclist accompanied, and I had to do a safety scan of my surroundings and run away immediately since I had no way of knowing if the accompanied bicyclist would get irrationally violent and attack me. The bicyclist I accidentally hit had no safety gear while I did, and they probably died from hitting me head-on - they were unconscious on the ground. I had no way of knowing who they have r*ped, murdered, punched, shot with a gun, stabbed with a knife, fired, slashed tires of, gaslit, etc.

I've since moved out to a safer area, but I still pay a 'grocery tax'. I tried shopping at more affordable grocery stores, and then the same incident happened, so I stole some food as reparations and left a negative review on the place. I've learned that Google Maps will delete negative reviews while Yelp is more representative of the unhinged nonsense that happens, and that store was around 2.5 - 3 stars. The only other 4+ star store I could find was more expensive, and it honestly sucks that I have no other choice.

And don't get me wrong - I am trained in self-defense. I know evidence-based self-defense and used it earlier with the bicycling accident to keep myself safe. My issue isn't keeping myself safe - my issue is that I just want to get through the fucking day without anyone self-destructing on me. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less. But they won't leave me alone.

I'm out of time. Will revise this later. Realized I left our suspicious details of the bicyclists.