I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Fakepisser
My mom (F48) is trying to force me (M17) to fly to another state and take a pre job drug test for my brother (22)
TRIGGER WARNING: emotional abuse and manipulation, child abuse, drug use
MOOD SPOILER: Depressing
Original Post Oct 2, 2015
To be honest I have done this in the past. I have taken pre hire drug tests for him. I hated doing it but I did it. We look enough alike on his DL that we pull it off and people at those clinics are more busy making sure you don't sneak something in your pants than with ID pic.
My brother asked me first cause he knew he was going to apply a couple of months ago. I said no and told him to get clean and he got pissed at me. Then got my mom to take his side and here we are.
I hate doing this cause I hate that I'm doing something illegal and I hate that my brother won't stop smoking weed long enough to get a good job. I have nothing against weed, I just don't smoke. I hate how lazy and irresponsible he is.
I would have to fly out and miss some school. But my mom is threatening to revoke my work permit. I work at a burger place part time. I love my job but I can only keep it if my GPA stays high and my mom and my guidance counselor sign a permission slip.
Don't want to do anything illegal anymore, don't want to keep bailing out my brother, I hate doing this period. My mom also threatened to kick me out of the house but I think that one is a bluff. I would have to fly out Sunday and I have a big chemistry test on Monday.
I feel like I have no way out, this sucks. Let me know if any good ideas come to mind to help me do the best thing.
tl:Dr my mother is strong arming me to take a drug test so my pot head brother can get a really good job.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
Mr_Julez
Just tell them you smoked weed.
OOP
Didn't think of this. My mom would probably drug test me to check cause we've been fighting over this. I should've thought of this sooner. Damn. Thanks this would have been genius.
i_fucked_Jenny_too
This looks like the best option, since she doesn't seem to give a shit if the other brother does it.
OOP
Nah she never cared he did anything. But if I get a B instead of an A all hell breaks loose. I get grounded, lose my laptop, and not TV and no friends. Doesn't seem balanced
OOP on how he has faked tests for the brother in the past
They never let me go alone. He always walks in with me to make sure I don't chicken out. Then when they call his name he puts a magazine over his face or just bends down and looks at his phone. Great idea though so thank you.
&
But can't I go to jail or suffer some legal consequences if I get caught trying? I don't want to loose my scholarships or even my acceptance to my future college.
OOP on how his mom can revoke his work permit
The high school I attend has to give you a work permit in order to get a part time job, or nobody will hire you without it. But the rules are that you have to maintain a high GPA, and your parents have to sign a consent form. Once you have all that your guidance counselor will give final approval. Those are the rules. So my mom can go to my counselor at any time and say she no longer contents to me working. She can say anything from behavior problems at home, to I need more time for homework and family, anything. That would be it. They revoke my work permit and I get fired.
Update Nov 22, 2015 (6 weeks later)
It didn't go too well for me. My mom dropped me at the airport. I didn't get on the plane. I just sat there when when they called for my plane to board. The airline lady asked me if I wanted to board cause she saw I was the only one left in the waiting area. I felt scared I'm not gonna lie. That was the hardest moment of my life by far. The shit hit the fan when my brother found out I wasn't getting off the plane that night he went to pick me up at the airport. My mom called and called until finally she just texted me to not come home.
I spent the night at the airport and I took the bus to school on that monday. I took my chemistry test and totally bombed it. I got a C and wish I go have a do over on that cause I know all that stuff. I don't know what happened there.
I got fired from my job cause my mom revoked my permission slip to work. I spoke to my boss but there was nothing he could do to keep me working for him. He said he respects me and that he would hire me when I'm 18 but nothing he can do now.
I don't live at home anymore I got kicked out. That whole thing is was bad. My self esteem is in the dumps cause I don't like staying at my friend's house where I stay now. Sometimes I think that all I had to do was take the stupid drug test and everything would be fine now.
Thanksgiving is coming and it's weird not having a place or a family to have that holiday with. I thought it would all blow over by now but it hasn't. My mom is more angry about this than I thought. She moved and rented another house so my old house is done. To me it makes a difference.
Honestly I would love to say hey I did the right thing and it's all good. But it's not that easy. I'm lost for now at least. I don't know how to move on without a home to go home to. I have to confess that I wish my mom would call me and tell me I was right. It's just not that easy to just leave your family behind.
So anyway. I don't know what else to say. I have my clothes, and my books, and my school stuff. I'll finish off the year. I'm wishing time will fly by and I can start college and just try to move on. Sometimes I feel like I made a mountain out of a mole hill. I fucked everything up. But I can't wait to have kids so I can help them do the right things without punishing them. That's the one thing I can know I will for sure do when I have kids. For now things suck and their hard. Being kind of homeless sucks. Staying at somebody else's house is not the same as having your own bed.
tl;dr: I didn't do it. I stay at my friend's house but it's not the greatest place ever. Life goes on.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
goldt33f
OP, you're going to look back on this event in a few years and be SO FUCKING PROUD of yourself for not having gone through with this illegal-as-fuck request from your mom and brother. Not only that, it is a blessing in a way because you know how little these people care about you (they literally couldn't give 2 fucking shits about you), and you don't need to feel bad or give a shit either.
You say that you wish time flew by so you could go to college, so I'm assuming that you ARE admitted somewhere and will be going. This will be a tough year for you, but I'm hoping college will be a helpful experience and that you can find support and good friends there. I promise, it will all get better!
OOP
I have been admitted to the school I want to go to. So the sooner that day comes the better for me and the easier things will be.
~
dinosaur_train
I've also been on my own since I was a teenager. While things suck ass, I promise, you are so much better off finding out the truth about your family now. It doesn't seem like it while you are a minor and vulnerable. But, trust me, it is true. This temporary hardship is miles better than years of bullshit which your mom would have hung around your neck.
In the meantime, perhaps you could see an attorney and find out what your rights are about suing for child support, for yourself, and being illegally evicted (if that's the case).
OOP
I dont' know. I can't afford an attorney and I don't think I want one either. As messed up as my mom is I have no desire to make things worse for her in the long run. I will handle whatever comes to me. I don't think she could handle what comes to her if I make legal trouble.
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