I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/my_mom_is_entitled
Originally posted to r/entitledparents
EM is forcing me to marry me cousin to make her a us citizen + 5-year Update
Thanks to u/boringhistoryfan & u/queenlegolas for suggesting this BoRU
Trigger Warnings: abuse, infidelity, emotional manipulation, alcoholism, overdose, possible human trafficking
Original Post: April 29, 2020
I was going to post this on my main account before I came to my senses. This isn't really a throwaway but more an account ill use to share stories of my entitled family (mom)
Before you call bullshit and start joking around saying Sweet Home Alabama.
Believe me, I wish this was bulshit but unfortunately it's an actual situation I'm facing
We are Dominican, don't know if that changes everything.
I hate that song
I’m 20 and male, Cousin is 19 and female
Spanish was my first language
I have a third cousin in Dominican Republic, they are not well off in that country and her mom is a little neglectful, at this point it feels like my mom cares more about her than me but whatever, she deserves it. She's a good kid who does well in school and wants to move to the US to go to nursing school, she can't however because she isn't a legal citizen.
My mom decided that it would be the best plan for me to go to the Dominican Republic in June or July and marry my third cousin...... To make her legal..... She brought this up a few years ago but I thought she was was joking, apparently she wasn't because recently she brought this plan up again but she actually talking about how she already booked flights for the Dominican Republic and shit.
WTF!?
I'm in a relationship already and my mom literally told me that she doesn't give a fuck about my personal life, all she cares about is going to Dominican Republic and forcing me to marry my cousin.
Thankfully, I talked about the plan with my significant other and they are supportive.
Due to the pandemic and not knowing if it's going to get worse, I think it's safe to say we are not flying out there and but my mom (for some reason) still acts like we are still going.
Basically, I marry her and stay married for a year then we divorce amicably, my mom Pockets any money that's made from this (if any)
When I try to downright refuse this, this was met with screaming, physical anger and threats to kick me out.
I'm afraid to go to any family members because I don't know what's going to happen.
Top Comments
Commenter 1: lol well that wont work she will have to wait 3 years before become legal also there are the fees.
Family Sponsorship Form (I-130) $535
Green Card Application Form (I-485) $1,140
the practice of obtaining residency through marriage is illegal in the United States if the marriage itself is fraudulent.
Commenter 2: Please don't do this, it's immigration fraud and you will be punished.
Commenter 3: You would be committing a felony. Do not due and tell your Mother to back off or you will turn her in for attempts at immigration fraud.
Commenter 4: You need to get away from your mother immediately. Being forced into any marriage against your will is never okay. Your mother also does not know what she is talking about. This will take much longer than a year, green card marriages require regular check-ins to confirm the marriage is real(so say goodbye to your current significant other for the duration) and any immigration is quite expensive.
She will pocket any money made off of this situation? How is she expecting to make money? You understand that if somehow she does, technically it will make your mother a human trafficker.
I want to stress again how much you need to get away. There is the terrible and controlling behavior of forcing you to marry, as well as pushing you into a scheme that could result in serious jail time for those involved and drastically harm the chances of your cousin being able to immigrate in the future.
On a sarcastic note: what’s your mother’s marriage status? Why doesn’t she marry the cousin herself?
EM is forcing me to marry me cousin to make her a us citizen UPDATE: April 28, 2025 (five years later)
I got to say it's a little surreal just watching YouTube and seeing my old post come up in one of those Reddit YouTube videos (yes, it was THAT guy)
It's been 5 years since I made this post and honestly, I was never planning on updating and I forgot about the account until I just saw this YouTube video and was really sympathizing with the writer.... until I realized that I AM the writer.
The original post is still up on my profile but to give a quick summary.
My mom has always been abusive both physically and mentally and has always been very controlling of my life despite me becoming an adult. Things reached a point that I never thought it would when my mom tried to force me to go to the Dominican Republic to marry my cousin so that we could bring her back to the United States so that she could start nursing school.
I logged into this account to see people messaging me for an update and people making up theories lol.
Some said i died, others said i married the cousin and got into legal trouble ect.
If I wrote in detail what has happened in the last years then this post would be a million correctors longs so here is a "Tl;Dr"
Broke up with the girlfriend I was dating in the first story after I found out she was cheating on me.
I never ended up marrying the cousin because i avoided renewing my passport and my mom found another person (in the us) that she was going to try to force me to marry and that fell through as well.
I ended up summoning the strength to start standing up to my mom and she kicked me out of the house summer of 2021.
I ended up moving in with another family member and I turned to drugs and alcohol to help me cope and I overdosed in December of 2021 at age 21 but thankfully I survived. Me and my mom reconciled January of 2022 because of her entering counseling and my OD
I ended up moving back in with my mother so that she could care for me while I got better and she ended up having another freak out and kicked me out again August of 2022 and I ended up having to move to a different state with a discord friend because my mom physically attacked me.
I left all my possessions and everything I knew and loved behind and I was utterly miserable in this new state. No money to my name, and i went days at a time without eating and >! tried to take my own life!< I survived and started working my ass off and found a job.
I then found another unhealthy vice and started my hook ups phase in this new state and ended up dating someone who turned out to be the 2nd most toxic woman imaginable and I'm also a dumbass who doesn't seem to be able to learn their lesson I moved in with my mother yet again in January of 2023.
But this time things actually seem to go Fairly normal for a while (since my mom realized she could use me for money and id let her cuz i was a sucker) I started a career and started making money. Broke up with my now long distance girlfriend and after the breakup she accused me of cheating on her but turns out she's the one that was cheating.
I "swore off relationships for good" and got close to a girl that also "swore off relationships for good" and yup, we ended up dating lol. We celebrated our one year anniversary and after yet another freak out by my mom in January of 2025 (because my girlfriend gave me the reality check to stop letting her use me), me and my girlfriend made the plans to move in together and as of April of 2025 me and her are now living together and I am 800 miles away from my mother and barely call her.
Me and my mom are cordial because I still want contact with my little sister but I only call my mom on my terms and anytime she starts acting entitled to me I cut her off and threaten to go no contact.
I'm now living a peaceful life that I never thought I'd be living before, I'm living with the love of my life and I'm planning on proposing to her soon, I'm being flown all over the country thanks to my career and my partner's family have basically taken me in as one of their own.
I want to take a moment to say thank you to everyone who read and replied to my old post. You guys truly helped me put a lot of things to perspective and it helped me realize what a messed up situation I was living in.
I have tons of stories from events that have happened over the use and stories from my career as a touring musician so lmk if you guys wanna hear some. feels kind of therapeutic writing these.
Thank you guys
Top Comments
Commenter 1: The best ending
Commenter 2: If you had agreed to this fraudulent marriage, your life would have gone to shit too, because that's a federal felony and you would have been found out. Glad your life is back on track now.
Commenter 3: I’m sorry you went through so much but it sounds like your partner is a huge help to you and helps you remember your mom can’t be trusted. I wish you guys all the best! May your future be as bright as your beginning was crummy.
(Also, btdt with that same channel. I knew he’d done my post as he’d featured it when it was pretty fresh, but it’d been a few years since then. I had a playlist on in the background and when the first sentence was read, I was like, “oh hey, this is similar to my story! Neat!” Then a second later, “wait, this is my story!” Gave me a chuckle.)
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