this post was submitted on 27 Jun 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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(page 2) 50 comments
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[–] [email protected] 86 points 1 day ago (8 children)

The really offensive part is having >2 liters of milk, per person, in a work fridge. What the fuck do you need so much for? I bet that fridge smells like a mix of spoiled milk and utter distrust for other human beings.

[–] [email protected] 58 points 1 day ago (2 children)

udder distrust. it was right there

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (4 children)

Just because it’s there, doesn’t mean you have to milk the pun for all it’s worth.

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 day ago (7 children)

It is British milk. Even as a Brit myself it astonishes me how much tea some people drink in a day. That shit must literally ooze from the pores of some people.

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[–] [email protected] 46 points 1 day ago

New interview question: "please show me the inside of the common refrigerator."

[–] scaramobo 18 points 1 day ago (4 children)

Just leave a decoy bottle laced with large amounts of sleep medication and laxatives. Sit back. Watch the shitshow unfold.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 22 hours ago

Tragedy at the container port as a box crane operator falls asleep, shits himself and drops a container of deel straight through the hull of the Ever Given. 8 million high-end graphics cards and playstations were destroyed by seawater.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Question: I bring milk into the office laced with powerful psychedelics. It is clearly labeled with my name, saying “This is mine and for my consumption only. Do not drink”. Someone takes and drinks it.

Is this illegal?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago

In the USA, yes.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Are psychedelics legal where you live?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Depends on how the law if formulated.

For instance technically having psychedelics wouldn't be illegal in Finland. VERY technically. Insofar that all drug crimes are defined as something being used, or being meant to be used, as an intoxicant.

So like legally there'd theoretically be wiggle-room, since one might just have milk with psychedelics in it, without ever having any intention of consuming it, or offering any to anyone else. But it's not your problem if someone goes and eats stuff not intended for consumption.

Obviously it would never fly, but like... technically.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Ok what about prescription medicine crushed up and put in the milk instead. Someone else drinks it by and they die because of an adverse reaction to the meds.

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 day ago

Troy Barnes: So please, approve the Dean's new security measure called "Troy's law.", because a camera in the bathroom...

[He chokes up]

Troy Barnes: is better than a quarter in your butt.

Dean Pelton: As we've seen, the Ass Crack Bandit can be defeated by using the three "B"s: Belts, briefs, and buddies. Good. The bandit always gets his victims when they're alone. Bend over with friends over.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago
[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I remember solving something similar using an opaque bottle with "GI supplements, don't drink" written in sharpie. Especially since the first time it was actually true and they didn't believe the warning.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I used to live in a shared house and made some hot honey. Bunch of chillis chopped and simmered in honey.

I found a tiny amount on a pizza was good to add a hint of sweet and made it pretty spicy. Can't imagine having it concentrated on toast goes down too well but that is what someone did when they stole it.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Don't give me ideas... I love spicy stuff, and it has been a pretty good deterrent in of itself from having my foodstuffs stolen. So two birds with one stone...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 23 hours ago

Make it then, I found it a really nice addition to pizza, adds spice and a bit of sweetness

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Why does one of the jugs have an infection warning on it? Are these bio samples at a lab and the locks are a safety measure?

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I worked at a hospital, and sometimes the Emergency Dept nurses would be cheeky and use the biohazard bags and stickers for their food items. nobody is going to eat my cookies if they have to blindly trust someone being a joker lol

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 day ago (5 children)

How about fixing the problem by having the management provide free milk? It's about a pound a day for them and everyone is happier.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 day ago

Trent the milk guzzler arrives at 6 and drinks it all.

Fuck you Trent!

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I work at a place that went from having bbq's and get togethers to... well, nothing in about five years. Yesterday we got a company wide e-mail to tell us the CEO is GTFO'ing and being replaced by an external hire. I'm not worried at all though. In fact, I'm kinda hoping to be fired for the severance. Fuck this job :D

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