Humans are burning down the wrong Amazon.
this post was submitted on 19 Oct 2023
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Not The Onion
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I just learned that the Amazon tablet/e-reader thing is literally called Amazon Fire. Like... Seriously. It's a little on the nose, no? Like Bezos and his team KNOW and sell this shit to people laughing all the way to the bank and people just line up. I'm so done with this world.
The e-reader is the Kindle. But that's just how they started the Fire.
Oh shit that completely slipped my mind, but I'm not really all that up to speed with Amazon products.
That's fair. Honestly, it was kind of a dumb move on their part to name their tablets "Kindle Fire" on release, as it confused almost everyone with what was an e-reader and what wasn't. By the time they returned it to just "Fire" / "Fire Tablet" to match other product families (Fire Phone, Fire TV), the damage was done. The only reason I can keep it straight is the fact that I worked on them for a decade.
I mean it's kind of genius marketing though, just straight up comically villainous/evil, like we're living in a cartoon. One of the top 3, if not the top 1, companies has branches called "The Amazon Fire" while we're literally fucking burning the rainforests in Amazon down. Amazon Kindle, Amazon Fire. That shit is just evil.
Wasn't it always burning since the world was turning?
Shut up and take my upvote!
I never thought of it this way but yeah... That made it through a bunch of levels in their company and no one there thought of it either. Wow...
Don't forget the Amazon FireTV stick.
That one is very good. It's mine now thanks
Could always build something home-made rocket launchers and incindiary missiles and launch from a distance
Or you could yeet a molotov cocktail at an amazon warehouse but tuat requires you to be closer and is more riskier
/s
This is a joke NSA, CIA, ASIO, etc
What the fuck….
Hahaha the onion always deliv....waitaminute
Thought the same. "Well, TheOnion must be out of ide-"
But inside, each bottle was filled with urine allegedly discarded by Amazon delivery drivers and collected from plastic bottles by the side of the road.
That didn’t stop Amazon from listing it for sale, though. Release even attained number one bestseller status in the “Bitter Lemon” category.
Absolutely amazing.
(No members of the public were actually sent driver urine; instead Butler corralled a group of friends into making the purchases.)
That's good. But the fact that someone could buy it and get sent urine via Amazon is horrifying.
Knowing that Amazon processes returns based on the weight of the incoming packages, he sends back buckets of sand to get his money back—attempting to shield himself from legal liability for fraud by running everything through a shell company in Belize.
They STILL do this? I remember people saying they buy refurbished or open-box graphics cards and received bricks. That was more than a decade ago.
Also this part
“I thought that the food and drinks licensing would stop me from listing it, so I started it out in this Refillable Pump Dispenser category. Then the algorithm moved it into drinks.”
They STILL do this? I remember people saying they buy refurbished or open-box graphics cards and received bricks. That was more than a decade ago.
They'll keep doing it until it stops being cost effective. The fact is that the number of fraudsters are drastically outnumbered by good actors, and compared to their revenue, a few missing graphics cards are literally nothing
as someone that drives for Amazon flex I am shockingly chill about this news, I just want to know how I can get paid by selling my piss through amazon
I'm honestly shocked that Amazon would let them sell piss. That seems like more of an OnlyFans market.
hell, if the demand is there, I shall supply the market, on any website they desire! I will chug water for several hours a day in between bringing you your packages, america! a deep sacrifice I am willing to make for the poor souls who need an energy boost and yet have 6.99 in discretionary income.
This HAS to be the onion, please
Oobah is fucking hilarious yet incredibly illuminating on issues that you don't hear much about. Ghost kitchens, snooty haute couture, and now selling body fluids to stay afloat. Wild.
There are limits to these 'not the onion' jokes...
Edit after reading:
OK, at least none were actually sold to unaware people to drink, thank god!!!
Though to think Amazon was more than ready to sell them tho...
They should stop hiring screenwriters from black mirror