Ask Lemmy

Sprained my ankle lying in bed. On my own.

Somebody filled a trash bag full of sharp objects they were planning on throwing out, then decided "I can't just throw a bag of loose sharp objects in the dumpster. Oh, I know the perfect place for this! Dead center of the living room floor." I stepped on it in the pitch black of the night. Luckily I only hit the edge so I only injured a single toe, but I straight up ripped the flesh nearly from the bone of it. Even stupider, I didn't go to the hospital for it. At least until I had an appointment for something else anyway, at which point they saw it and immediately made me go to another doctor to get it addressed.

My eyesight isn’t great. I was looking for a bathroom in a restaurant, assumed I found a door, but instead of using my hands to push it like a normal person, I slammed my body into it, smashing my nose.

Also, it wasn’t a door. It was just glass.

Head hurt for the rest of the day, and I was bleeding for a bit too!

Once spilt a drink on a polished wooden floor so I cleaned it up then thought hey furniture polish would definitely get rid of any stickyness.

Worked way too well I slipped on it about a minute later and somehow broke a toe.

Not me, but my brother ran into a cinder block wall in a foot race yesterday, cheek first fortunately. Ended up needing 6 stitches and having a hefty black eye and we're lucky that's all he got.

I've frequently slept in such a way to fuck up my neck to where I can't turn it for a few days.

I feel old when just sleeping can fuck me up.

I got four...ugh...embarrassing...but one is not any fault on myself.

1.) Sprained my ankle sliding to first base at my cousins birthday party. Found out I'm overly competitive in sports and stopped playing them lol.

2.) Ripped up my arms on a hiking trip with my brother. Gor up to a 15 foot cliff and thought it'd be fun to jump out to a tree and shimmy my way down. Didn't get enough grip with my feet and ended up using my arms to slow my descent.

3.) Got intoxicated and fell over onto a sidewalk cracking one of my teeth, had to have a fake tooth put in.

4.) Spiller hot coffee on me when I was young leaving burns. I only remember wearing an itchy jacket and taking it off and hiding it when I could.

Self-harm all over my leg

Tried to catch a knife I dropped, forgetting the old maxim: “a dropped knife has no handle.”

As a kid, a bunch of friends and I smashed glass bottles for fun while barefoot. I have no idea what the hell we were thinking, but predicably I cut my big toe pretty bad.

I then walked around for a while, with everyone telling me I had a bleeding gash in my toe. I didn't believe them and wouldn't even look. It took my mom telling me for me to finally look down, and when I did I nearly passed out from the sight of my own idiocy pouring out of me.

Not my smartest moment, for damn sure.

Walking drunk up the stairs - missed a step and landed on my knee. Hair line fracture.

I once managed to trip over a 5 cm metal ledge that I only noticed when I kicked into it while walking into a parking garage.

I fell over, fell on a knee that was just healed after another less stupid fall and scraped both hands badly too when I tried to break my fall.

So stupid!

Oh and it was after a concert and there were a lot of people present just watching me get up, crying in pain.

So it was my most embarrassing one too.

Smoke cigarettes

There was a ledge at school about 4 foot off the ground and maybe 2 foot wide that the kids would walk on to be cool. The classrooms had these windows that you had to crank open and they swung from hinges at the top, so the opened into a kind of lean to shape. Those were about 5 foot above the ledge.

Sooo...After school, i was running back to the band hall to grab my clarinet before my parents came to pick me up...on the ledge...looking down so i didnt fal...not realizing the window was open...and wham, right into the side edge of the window.

Hit my forehead, thank God I didn't fall of the ledge as well. I got 4 stitches and had to hold my head together anytime I laughed or smiled for 3 weeks...

God, I felt dumb.

Had a Diana 27 air rifle growing up. You bend the barrel to charge it up with air pressure. Young me had poor grasp of how leverage works, and I gripped it too close to the joint. Once it was almost fully bent, my hand started slipping towards the open breech, and once it reached it the barrel snapped back, cutting two parallel incisions in the skin flap between my thumb and forefinger.

Slicing my index finger with a cheese knife.

I have thick hair. I once flipped my hair and cracked my neck