this post was submitted on 15 Nov 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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(shamelessly stolen from an imgur dump)

(page 2) 50 comments
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[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (4 children)

3 and 7. With 3 you can essentially walk through walls, and with 7 you will know exactly which boxes you don't need to check when looking for something.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Getting powers and immediately offing yourself by phasing into a wall

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Unfortunately most walls are thicker than 7" when accounting for decorations, furniture, trim, etc. Not to mention adding your own thickness.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I pick 5 to make infinite money.

Step 1 - Buy some used toasters

Step 2 - Rebrand and sell those toasters

Step 3 - Make every toaster that isn't mine fail catastrophically

Step 4 - PROFIT!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (3 children)

3 - It doesn't say it has a cool down so you can just spam it and go insanely fast

7 - It will be pretty useful in game shows. You can take a look inside a deck of cards and their order in their box. You know those "find the pebble in the right cup" street hustlers.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (4 children)

3 and 7

I assume you can chain teleport and thus move pretty fast. Seeing that a container is empty can be useful I imagine.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Easy. 1 and 5.

1 - "Hey friends. Who's had an itchy grain of sand stuck inside? If you open wide I can take it out and put you back.". Profit.

5 - Insurance fraud by burning down vacant homes through "faulty wiring" then suing the manufacturer.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

speaking an extinct language would actually be realy cool and I could teach it to others.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

I at least like the toaster if we assume instantaneous faster than light control. If I can sit and watch a feed of stocks and toggle a buy/sell toaster hooked up to the stock market 250 ms away, I can pretty easily beat the market and make money.

Similarly you could use the empty container rule to have someone communicate with you by toggling the empty state of a container. If you sense/not sense the container you have a reliable binary communication channel and Morse code is pretty viable too. But it's probably best for a predetermined action because you're racing the latency of light here and we're not multiplanetary yet so you've only got hundreds of milliseconds margin to work with. Unless you contract with NASA or anyone yeeting things into space. Build an instrument that can Morse code via empting/filling a container and suddenly voyager can send us instant communication. Combine it with a set of control toasters and that's pretty valuable too.

Teleportation: is there a cool down? Because most places can be teleported to in increments of 7 inches if I can chain them.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

I would probably would go with 1 and 6. I read an article awhile ago they were used to detect quality of water. I would have the ability to further interpretate what is wrong with the water by talking to the oysters. Might make money along the way and save people/ environment at the same time. As for 6 well is for obvious reason.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (3 children)
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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Khitan and gravel, khitan would be a boon for linguists and i could help them document it until other people can learn to speak with me, and free gravel could be used to pillar up to places if done fast enough and could potentially clog things

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (3 children)

3 could save your life if you get trapped inside your car.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Knowing containers are empty can be valuable.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

As long as I'm still indecisive could we find out how fast Albert Einstein really was? Maybe for some of us it's still an improvement.

I mean I don't know, but if I google Albert Einstein and speed of light I get many hits.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

2 and 3 are the obvious choices, however id pick 3 and 5. Here are the only interesting pills available.

(2) You can sell it

(3) that's enough to go through a wall

(5) a smart toaster has a circuit board that you could mcgyver into sending commands outside of itself, allowing ur toaster to be an entry point to computer telepathy.

(6) Would be funny to feed this one to a person who had just died and watch their color come back, really fuck with the autopsy

(9) Instantly cures any physical ailments preventing you from running/walking (unless we mean current albert einstein, in which case corpses cant move.)

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