this post was submitted on 15 Feb 2024
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[–] [email protected] 113 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Tony scratched his neck, his high visibility vest making him itchy again. He took off his bright yellow hardhat, and wiped the sweat from his forehead.

Now cradling his hardhat under one arm, and a clipboard in his hand, he sidled over to the rich prick. “Look, Enrique, I really need you to sign the…” He paused for a rattling rumble, as a dump truck disgorged another load of printer cartridges onto the front lawn. “…pink copy of the bill of lading. It confirms the delivery was made, and my drivers can get paid.”

Enrique sputtered, fuming. “What the hell am I supposed to do with this?“ He said, gesturing at the small hill nearly obscuring his mansion.

“Well…” Tony grunted. “ You better hope that some of these loads have magenta, otherwise these piles of cyan and yellow are totally useless.“

[–] [email protected] 44 points 1 year ago (1 children)

With HP prices that's got to be a trillion dollars or so?

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

That's precisely 12.4 gazillion dollars. Over 3x the value of the entire milky way galaxy.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Remove the CEO's stock options / compensation and make the pay entirely in 270,315 printer cartridges.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

This is the best summary I could come up with:


The Reg family would like to extend our condolences to HP CEO Enrique Lores after his headline financial compensation package for 2023 declined more than 7 percent year-on-year to $19.46 million.

It is tough at the top, as we've pointed out before, but someone has to step into those Italian leather slip-ons, slide onto the corporate chaise longue, and spin gold from straw.

Shareholders will get the chance to attend the Annual General Meeting on April 22 to vote on various things including to have their say on pay and elect the 12 directors listed in the proxy statement.

PC makers, including HP, are now praying that on-device AI will improve their lot in 2024 and are helping to inflate the hype bubble.

Just months ago analysts and vendors were struggling to define the AI PC, with IDC going so far as to say that use cases had yet to be articulated.

On the printer front, HP is fighting back against the incursion of evil remanufacturers that are pinching its hard-won supplies margins, although not all customers are happy with the methods and some are deploying lawyers.


The original article contains 457 words, the summary contains 187 words. Saved 59%. I'm a bot and I'm open source!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Should use refillable, they could pay him much less that way.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Someone hacked the accountant Department.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Imagine being the boss of Kalashnikov :)