CurlyWurlies4All

joined 2 years ago
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[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 days ago

I love thylacines. Such goofy looking but totally rad creatures. We've done so so much damage...

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago

Do you know the context of the quote?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago

He's getting bric-d up at the sound of this

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

This, while they send threatening letters to researchers at Australia's federal science agencies with questions like this:

[–] [email protected] 26 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago

"We'll talk about it later, I told you, I'm very busy"

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 days ago

Nah it's an old copypasta.

[–] [email protected] 67 points 6 days ago (4 children)

I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief.

“Bad news, detective. We got a situation.”

“What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?”

“Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.”

The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true economic freedom, not subject to arbitrary manipulation by any government. Do we have any leads?”

“Not yet. But mark my words: we’re going to figure out who did this and we’re going to take them down … provided someone pays us a fair market rate to do so.”

“Easy, chief,” I said. “Any rate the market offers is, by definition, fair.”

He laughed. “That’s why you’re the best I got, Lisowski. Now you get out there and find those bitcoins.”

“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m on it.”

I put a quarter in the siren. Ten minutes later, I was on the scene. It was a normal office building, strangled on all sides by public sidewalks. I hopped over them and went inside.

“Home Depot™ Presents the Police!®” I said, flashing my badge and my gun and a small picture of Ron Paul. “Nobody move unless you want to!” They didn’t.

“Now, which one of you punks is going to pay me to investigate this crime?” No one spoke up.

“Come on,” I said. “Don’t you all understand that the protection of private property is the foundation of all personal liberty?”

It didn’t seem like they did.

“Seriously, guys. Without a strong economic motivator, I’m just going to stand here and not solve this case. Cash is fine, but I prefer being paid in gold bullion or autographed Penn Jillette posters.”

Nothing. These people were stonewalling me. It almost seemed like they didn’t care that a fortune in computer money invented to buy drugs was missing.

I figured I could wait them out. I lit several cigarettes indoors. A pregnant lady coughed, and I told her that secondhand smoke is a myth. Just then, a man in glasses made a break for it.

“Subway™ Eat Fresh and Freeze, Scumbag!®” I yelled.

Too late. He was already out the front door. I went after him.

“Stop right there!” I yelled as I ran. He was faster than me because I always try to avoid stepping on public sidewalks. Our country needs a private-sidewalk voucher system, but, thanks to the incestuous interplay between our corrupt federal government and the public-sidewalk lobby, it will never happen.

I was losing him. “Listen, I’ll pay you to stop!” I yelled. “What would you consider an appropriate price point for stopping? I’ll offer you a thirteenth of an ounce of gold and a gently worn ‘Bob Barr ‘08’ extra-large long-sleeved men’s T-shirt!”

He turned. In his hand was a revolver that the Constitution said he had every right to own. He fired at me and missed. I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back. The bullet lodged in a U.S.P.S. mailbox less than a foot from his head. I shot the mailbox again, on purpose.

“All right, all right!” the man yelled, throwing down his weapon. “I give up, cop! I confess: I took the bitcoins.”

“Why’d you do it?” I asked, as I slapped a pair of Oikos™ Greek Yogurt Presents Handcuffs® on the guy.

“Because I was afraid.”

“Afraid?”

“Afraid of an economic future free from the pernicious meddling of central bankers,” he said. “I’m a central banker.”

I wanted to coldcock the guy. Years ago, a central banker killed my partner. Instead, I shook my head.

“Let this be a message to all your central-banker friends out on the street,” I said. “No matter how many bitcoins you steal, you’ll never take away the dream of an open society based on the principles of personal and economic freedom.”

He nodded, because he knew I was right. Then he swiped his credit card to pay me.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago

https://sfist.com/2025/03/11/testimony-reveals-doors-would-not-open-on-cybertruck-that-caught-fire-in-piedmont-killing-three/

the deaths appear to be more the result of the vehicle fire, as opposed to drugs, or injuries the victims sustained in the crash. And troublingly, that testimony also showed the Cybertruck’s doors could not be opened in the aftermath of the crash, preventing Riordan from pulling the other three victims from the flaming wreckage.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Oh my god..I did not put two and two together. I can't believe I never realised JOJI was filthy frank.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

I think it could be argued that wearing ostentatious and expensive clothes is a type of self-aggrandisement. Wear something flashy into any local pub in country NSW and you'd get the exact same reaction as above.

 
 

While onboarding with Aftermath, I went on a tangent, laying bare all my frustrations with manga-reading apps while pitching a blog. After spewing a word salad for what felt like a century, I was met with horrified expressions from my colleagues. The leading cause for concern wasn’t my pitch (thank god) but my casual comparison of the manga-reading ecosystem to streaming subscription services with the bonus of predatory practices rife in live service games. Reading the latest chapter of your favorite series involves jumping through a series of overcomplicated hoops that include microtransactions and earning points.

The source of my ire are Square Enix’s MangaUp and Kondansha’s K Manga. Like every good drug dealer, K Manga and Manga Up let you read the first couple chapters of a series for free. After that, you have to play ball with their respective ticketed and microtransaction coins to read new manga chapters. Similar to Hoyoverse’s umbrella of gacha games, K Manga and Manga Up gamify reading comic books through log-in bonuses, accruing bonus points for completing assigned chapters, and “paying to win” to give yourself a modicum of freedom from their respective bullshit.

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