Being a furry is just matter of self identifying as one and appreciation of anthro animals. What defines an anthro is very broad and has a very low bar to clear
So there's nothing else to it really, do you like anthros or not? And do you like furries (the community) and wish to be associated with them?
It's all early days, but it's been for the better. Shedding self hatred and cognitive dissonance is probably a good thing.
Like you say, trying to get validation from a bunch of people who definitely don't have your best interest in mind, don't actually have a clue what the hell they're talking about and barely know how to run their own lives is unhealthy. Especially when you find out they're actually 14 years old. Doy
Allo