First and foremost though, physician heal thyself.
I try. Oh Lord do I try. Every time I try to be kind to myself, its with the job of overcoming the years of reinforced guilt. Its my biggest hurddle in life. At least I'm able to choose kindness towards others day in and day out... thats gotta mean something ๐ ๐ฅฒ
Unfortunately I don't think that there is any real ability for it to happen without her estate liquidation. Her home is lovely nice and in great shape and her many high-value belongings are in great shape too but they have to be sold I think I can't really even stand asking a single question about all this but I certainly don't feel as though I'm being cheated.
Especially considering my current situation is partially due to tha fallout from something I thought would never result in an inheritance much less a positive relationship (my having come out as trans 2 years ago while living and helping my mom care for her for 5 years while healing from some really intense trauma and the threat of more that was my prior renting situation.... Aaaand being let go the same week due to company buyout just led to having to move out without somewhere to go) so anything I am getting is unexpected and icing on the cake that is having any relationship at all with my last remaining family member.
Oh and take a look at some of the other replies I've made as to my thoughts on the rest of your comment, sorry I just don't feel like typing it out anymore. I have led a pretty rough life that still isn't out of the weeds yet, and it wears down on a girl to reshare sometimes.
Thanks.
Yeah, no market rate / ai / industry standards at all. I already know I couldn't live life attempting to justify receiving rent payments that are more than the honest value I'd provided.
I've rented from a place that couldn't even be bothered to provide what was initally promised at the already needlessly bloated price, and fortunately I was immediately able to stand and fight for them to withdraw from their end of the lease and got moยงt of my money back.
I've (sub)rented from a friend who took what was left of my nice things (after rapidly selling off so damned much of my few stuff) and all of their stuff, my rent payment, and the additional money I'd pulled together to help them with the panicked rental situation they had presented..... and just leave with all of it and move to another state without even paying the landlord.
I've rented a room from what looked like an average "middle"class divorcee with a job that supposedly kept them in another state 2 weeks each month, but turned out to be a nightmare of a situation involving him moving in his fellow skinhead neonazi methhead and eventually had the cold barrel of a revolver being pressed against my head to force me to do some terrible stuff, including some stuff thats super duper not legal (and yet somehow was able to at least do what I was being told to do without causing harm to anyone except myself and government)
And I have even had to move back in with the incredibly abusive family that was supposed to raise me to "try and save up" for my own place, only to loose any ability to heal and grow enough to even see the point of trying to find my own way in life.
If it is as possible to remain ethical receiving rent payments from another human being, then only the fucking most honest of price and value would already be the only way forward. I can't imagine being in such a position to perpetuate anything
*she
And if I went through with this, I certainly won't be using some standardized pricing. It would be soley based on the my time spent (at the lowest reasonable rate for the area) and expenses associated with owning and upkeep + cost of only the upgrades that the tenants area receive, not the stuff done to spaces that aren't part of the renter's access.
I don't see this as a way to make a profit. I just see this as the stuff that would be part of, what is the only likely opportunity to own a home that I'll ever have. And after some of the comments so far, I guess I also see this as an opportunity to make someone's renting experience to be way more than even the best of values they could ever find... certainly more than I've had.
This shit gives me real, lasting panic, so I actually want other peoples ethical discussion. I've reached the limits of my current strength, but don't want to be caught with pants down should they pass soon.
I mean, migration is a valid option, even considering the inconvenience and costs.
I'm unhoused atm, and even I have found a verifiable way to move, legally, to another country with more room for hope, with as little money as I have.
Taking a stand means you're feet should on top of something secure enough to hold you and worth saving at all. I simply don't have it within me to be a part of the frontlines when the Frontline is razor thin and full of holes.
I held out hope for years now, that people on "both sides" will turn and face the real problems. I've insisted on finding, defining, and attempting to make use of knowing where my values and "theirs" diverge. I choose daily to assume that there are hardly any people on this rock that wake up each day without a single positive intent, and that means people can start somewhere....
And, I still do.
But the catalyst to bring both sides to a point of needing to find common ground, no matter how little, to work from just... isn't coming. Not without violence or everyone experiencing a drop in quality of life at least matching the worst experiences of today's least fortunate. Thats all the remains on a very long list of things that could've started the reaction in this country.
And I'm done with it. I'm likely going to have to pull the trigger on these plans, and I'm not too upset about it either. I'd much rather set down roots somewhere else with at lot more people who are already practiced in making positive changes to society.
Fight if you want, I get it, or rather I had it. I want nothing more than for things to change sooner and smoother. But I've gotta ration what few fucks to give that remain from an already really rough lot in life from the start.
Sorry for word vomit rant
They're not imaginary. I'd allow saying that historically the threat they represnted to the Democrats goals was small and mostly just delays.
The new MAGA doesn't play with a rulebook, last time there were enough things in play that meant they were forced to live with delaying what rules they didn't like. This time there is nothing at all in their way, and they have no reason at all to even maintain appearances of giving a damn.
Dems shat the bed when they decided that the inconsistent compromised wins were less risky than doing anything meaningful. This election is just what happens when nobody comes in to clean out the mess.
Then stop trying to make the baby and find a better approach, because both inconvenient facts can be true, the things we tried take time, and time was of the most high of priorities.... unless the goal wasn't "making the baby".
Brave.
Where, I wonder, did these transpeople find enough hope for this country to get arrested for such a peaceful protest?
I need to know, cause I either want some myself, or need to avoid where it is.... i'm not sure which
Burn.
Thank you.
All of this sucks to think about after remembering what all is involved whenever this happens. As much as I need help in life right now, I want as much time as possible between now and then... I have nobody else left, my mom just passed unexpectedly in March, except for the aunt and uncle who abused me for 20 years who have been dead to me for almost 8 years now, and a highly estranged dad.
I've met others who are im even rougher shape than me, so I know things aren't as worse as they could be, so I'd rather have time shared than whatever is to come after our time runs out... anyways, thanks for being so nice. This is all so hard