Zero22xx

Posting this here because the metal community seems to be entirely links to tracks and I'm not sure how well received this would be there. Also, I'm open to anything that goes more on the punk rock side of things. I like a little punk in my metal and a little metal in my punk (which is very subjective anyway).

Basically as the title says. I'm bored of my current selection of heavy music and looking for new stuff. To per-emptively get ahead of these answers: yes, I've heard Kittie, Nightwish and Arch Enemy before (actually haven't listened to Kittie since the nu metal days and maybe I should check them out again).

Two bands that I have found in recent years that I absolutely love are:

In This Moment. They started out as pretty much straight metalcore but have a noticeable evolution with each album, to the point that the most recent album sounds like this. Evolution is something I appreciate in a band.

Butcher Babies. Just straight up chaotic. And good shit. And they're even named after an old school punk song. Chaos and attitude is something I also appreciate in a band. Pity that one of the vocalists left though, having two vocalists was something that really set them apart.

Any other suggestions?

Edit: wasn't expecting so many great suggestions here. I promise I'll make my way through each post and suggestion here but it's going to take time. In the mean time, thanks everyone. At this rate I'm going to have more than enough new (to me) stuff to listen to.

Hoping that this doesn't get too long (spoiler: it got long). Not sure where else to dump all of this. It was either here or the non-binary community because I might mention aspects of that. I feel like most of my problems are self inflicted, so I'm not even looking for sympathy or even acknowledgment here, just a space to put this shit out into the world, for whatever that might help.

I am stuck and have been for years now. My 20s were spent fucking around and my 30s have been mostly spent wishing I'd done a little less fucking around in my 20s. I dropped out of varsity and something one could call a stable career for stupid fantasies and life has pretty much just been chaos and uncertainty since then. Especially financial security.

And I'm stuck in this world now. Taking whatever unskilled blue collar back breaking soul sucking job I can get. That I never last too long in. And actually I've been unemployed and making scraps from odd jobs for a little too long now. And that's not even for lack of trying, my CV / resume probably just looks like one big red flag to employers at this point and I don't think my age helps the spotty and all over the show job experience look better either.

Now to actually get to mental health. I have been trying to work on myself and become who I am supposed to be and I'm finding over and over that while it might not necessarily be the source of happiness, the biggest obstacle to happiness is money.

For one, I highly suspect that I have some lifelong undiagnosed neurodivergence and tried going through the government system to get to the bottom of things. But so far I found that route to be nothing but actively worse for mental health and I get the impression that unless I have visible tics or 'act' like something is wrong, I'm not going to get very far there. And yet going to professionals on a private basis would cost a small fortune, on top of every other basic worry.

And as far as gender identity related stuff goes. I need money for basically everything that could be regarded as gender affirming care. And space and privacy which, surprise surprise, require money too. I need to be able to afford to live alone. And in the city where I can disappear into the crowd and not a town with all the pearl clutchers.

The biggest conundrum right now as far as being both unemployed and feeling close to exploding point at wanting to take the mask off and be my non-conforming self is that I'm waiting for the day around the corner where I have to cut my hair and put on a fucking golf shirt and brown pants or some shit for the next minimum wage job that I can't say no to and that doesn't actually improve your life in any way.

So here I am, stuck. I don't even feel like I deserve friends these days, I've cut myself off from all of my old ones and I feel too much like a loser in life at this point for new ones. Everyone has careers and marriages and children and shit. And here I am, taking what I can get, and spending Friday night smoking cheap weed and watching cartoons.

On that note I'm boring as fuck these days too. All of my good stories start with "years ago" and I barely feed my soul with the things that it needs anymore. I don't make any art, barely read or listen to new music anymore. I feel blank and burnt out and broken and somehow helpless to fix any of it. And I'm tired of being stuck here.

Thanks for reading, or not reading. Thanks for the space for me to post this garbage. Other people have serious problems, mine feel selfish and as I said, self inflicted. Just wanted to get this all off my chest though.

An example that I can think of is Teaching English as a Foreign Language (TEFL), which requires a relatively short online course (for a fee, of course) and entails teaching basic english to kids from non english countries online. I've usually known of older and elderly people doing this but I don't think that's a requirement or anything lol. As far as know, the only requirements are high school English and the teaching English course.

Are there any other of these sorts of online jobs that maybe require a short course, and at least potentially bring in enough to pay for the groceries?

There's for sure better Skunk Anansie songs that would get a bigger pop but hey, this is topical. And as Skin herself would say on this same album, yes it's fucking political.

They've got a new album coming out pretty soon. Hoping it's a return to form because while I liked the previous album, it kinda sounded more like Skin's solo stuff than the Skunk Anansie of old. And the world could do with some of this attitude right now.

Firstly, my obligatory "I hope this kind of post is acceptable here". Now with that out of the way.

For the last few years, I have been finally starting to address a lot of things about myself that I pushed down or away for a long time. Among those things was gender. But I'm also likely ADHD at least, and have been pretty burnt out for years now, so I've become a lot worse at research and looking into things than I used to be.

So only about two years ago, I finally looked up "non-binary" on Wikipedia, and felt like I was reading about myself. And since then it's been quite a journey (all internally because I basically never tell anyone irl what I'm going through). From imposter syndrome or feeling like I might be a fraud, to half assurance that I'm on the right track but still not fully comfortable or satisfied in the answers so far, to feeling or registering dysphoria for the first time and regularly since and thinking I might possibly be transfem. But I've always preferred and got along better with women and am extra angry with men in general these days, which might be playing a big part in me wishing I was afab these days.

And putting together my personal journey over the last few years, with what I've awakened to with regards to both mental health and gender identity, I remembered something about the hidden curriculum. And how it was my history teacher in school (one of the only teachers that 'got' me and who I wasn't constantly fighting with) who brought it up and looking back, he clearly knew that I was different in a number of ways. When he brought up the hidden curriculum, one of the sentences that he specifically used and that I've remembered since, was how it "teaches boys to be boys and girls to be girls" (I was outraged by this and the whole idea of the hidden curriculum btw).

Which brings me to why I am agender. I literally never learnt how to be one gender or the other. And it's not because I wasn't taught, it's because I rejected it every step of the way, or just didn't even notice that it was a lesson. I was raised by my mother and two sisters, who acknowledged me as a 'man', but didn't exactly push me into sportsball and shit. I was very much raised by sisters in particular because my mother means well, but has always been kinda vacant. And in school, I was too busy resisting and fighting every step of the way to learn how to be a 'man' there.

So yeah, that's it. I wrote an essay just to say: I am agender! I finally found the exact label that makes me feel like it's been so obvious all along. And 100% confident in saying that I belong to. I am agender.

Watched this again yesterday and I think I liked it even more the second time. Honestly I've got Batman fatigue over all, especially grounded and 'realistic' Batman, but what makes this show particularly enjoyable is that it changes quite a few things up and leans harder into Golden Age Batman stuff than any other adaptation.

Not all episodes are 100% masterpieces but the overall storylines are especially awesome. I absolutely love this version of Harley Quinn and think it might actually be my favourite. And especially listening to the things she says in conversation leading up to her episode was awesome this time, knowing what's coming. A little disappointed that there's going to be a Joker in this universe after all but I hope that at least in this story, they flip it and make him a creation of Harley Quinn and not the other way around.

And the over all story of Harvey Dent of course is top tier. Also with the way it tied in with Jim and Barbara's ideological disagreement that ran throughout. And something that I didn't notice the first time but saw someone else point out, which is fucking cool, was that they flipped the evil and side of Two-Face here as well.

Harvey Dent wasn't really a good guy before the acid attack. He would just do or say whatever it takes to get more votes and get people to like him. He might've been good once but the life of shaking hands and smiling and kissing asses with no results clearly twisted him.So after the acid attack, whenever he's being apologetic and good, he turns and speaks with the side of his face that has been fucked up with acid. That's the personality that has learnt and is remorseful. But the 'evil' side of this Harvey Dent is the old Harvey Dent politician personality that has had it with this shit.

And just a quote that I felt especially hard this time from Batman: "You don't bend with the world when it goes bad. You push back."

Side note / suggestion: something I've always seen pro wrestling subs / communities do that works well, is having a general discussion thread pinned. Something that is still missing here vs Reddit, is a community for each show. It wouldn't make sense here right now because it would just make this place even quieter. But what was nice about them was having a place to post about them off season. I feel like a general discussion thread could work nicely for this kind of post.

I don't know where else to post this. Definitely not casual conversation. Off my chest seems more like a place for when you've got something to say to everyone else. And I'm not really necessarily looking for advice. Pretty personal and about mental health and shit though. So if there's somewhere better, let me know. I just need to dump this shit somewhere.

Just went without weed for around two weeks. One of the longest stretches I've gone without for most of my adult life so far. And this particular time, it has especially made me realise and come to terms with the fact that whenever I've called it "medicine", I've only been half joking.

Because I unravel more and more, then facepalm when I've finally had my medicine and start thinking about how I've been feeling and acting out. When I've gone without for just a couple of days in the past, I've called it an addiction but this time the insomnia and lack of appetite ended in a couple of days but my everything else got worse and worse.

I become completely dysfunctional in the real world, and a feeling that I think I've realised is a constant anxiety. Or bottled rage sometimes. And an inability to even sit for long enough to watch something or play a game. That's when I start learning into the endless scroll of the virtual world hard.

And there I start looking for outlets for all of my rage. Not picking my battles but standing on my hill(s) and calling all challengers. I fight for things that I believe in and not just aimlessly but at the same time, I feel aware that I'm also doing it selfishly, so that I've got something to do with all of the continuous anxiety and unease and general feeling like shit.

And now I'm here. I've had my medicine and now I feel like I've been unhinged (more than usual), howling under a full moon that lasted two weeks. And now I facepalm about it, not for what I've said but for how and why and when. Maybe even who.

I don't have the means to get diagnosed with anything at this present point, but I'm fairly convinced now that one reason it's taken me so long to realise that not everything is ok; is because my continuous weed use has not only been alleviating things for me on a chemical level, it also makes it easier for me to pretend that all systems are running normally or that my specs are the same as everyone I have to meet and talk to. That I don't actually feel like a stranger all the time, even if I've known you for years.

I hope that this is the right place for this, please let me know if there's somewhere more appropriate because I'm not sure where it actually fits.

Let me just start this off by saying, I recognise that these are kids movies and I also thank these movies for bringing me back into the franchise and revisiting such a big part of my childhood. In fact what's great is that it's introducing a new generation of kids to it.

Just finished Sonic the Hedgehog 3 and after spending the last 6+ months (re)watching all the animated adaptations and (re)playing the games, I really don't think I enjoyed it as much as the first two movies. And I've realised that Sonic has actually been characterized pretty badly here and completely tamed and watered down. And even more so, I feel like this displays a larger problem in mainstream media right now.

Sonic in the '90s and 2000s:

Back in the '90s when I was a kid, we had two Sonic cartoons running at the same time. In both of them, Sonic was an anti-authoritarian "freedom fighter", trying to topple Robotnik's tyranny. One of them had little PSAs like calls to respect those who are different from you or warnings about scammers and false info. It was woke before woke was a thing. The other one involved Robotnik, the tyrant, stomping out free thinking by turning people into robot slaves. A not so subtle message.

In fact even without the cartoons, from the first game it's a pretty easy assumption to make that the little blue guy with the mohawk / spikes that runs around smashing machines and freeing the animals is supposed to be some sort of rebel. I promise that it wasn't too much for my little 7 or 8 year old brain to handle back then.

Then we get to the Modern era of Sonic, which gave us Sonic Adventure with wall to wall heavy metal and cool guitar solos. And little surprises like weed leaves placed in certain locations. And the defacto animated adaptation of this era was Sonic X, where Sonic blatantly shows no respect or even disrespect to authorities fairly regularly. But always with the message of doing the right thing. At one point, he inspires the 'freedom movement' which sees people quitting their jobs by the masses, dyeing and spiking their hair and just living their lives their way (I'd love to know where they got their income from though).

Sonic the Hedgehog movies:

Which brings me to these movies. I had fun watching all of them but now I am realising just how watered down and wrong a lot of the characterisation is. Instead of being about rebellion, it's about 'family'. Instead of heavy metal and weed leaves, it's top 40 pop and McDonald's references. Apart from an Easter egg thrown in here or there like a bone.

And I realised that the characterisation of Sonic, Knuckles and Robotnik are more like Sonic Boom than any game or other adaptation, except with all the adult references and humour removed. And Sonic Boom isn't known for its faithful representations either but still at least has some edge.

The Declawing of Media:

When I look around at the world today, I think that we need anti-authoritarian icons like Sonic the Hedgehog more than ever. But all of the movie studios and all of the artists are beholden to fucking suits that don't want to take any risks in case their precious money flow gets harmed.

And so we're left with a world where the art that used to inspire kids and teenagers to rage against the machine and keep it real has all become safe and boring and paint by the numbers. And so they're being attracted by douchebag podcasters that give them something to rebel against instead.

I feel like the Sonic the Hedgehog movies so far are a great representation of just how stale and corporate everything has become. I believe they call it enshittification. And I'm thinking that maybe Hollywood and the music industry are just as much to blame for the state of affairs today as social media. And not because of the wOkE agENdA but because no one has a fucking spine anymore and everything is trying to chase numbers on charts that go up and down. Enshittification is more than just social media design IMO.

It was suggested that I post this idea to the community proper. So I'm just copying and pasting the comment that I made, edited to make it clear which post I'm referencing (which is the next most recent post here anyway). I hope I got the link right in order to work with all of this federation mumbo jumbo.

I’m too new to be making these kinds of suggestions and I’m far from the moderator type myself but multiple times throughout this week, I’ve been thinking that it would be pretty cool if there was an AskBlåhaj. Or even just general Ask Lemmy based here, that could be asking for unwanted attention from shitty people on other instances though.

Not even 24 hours after seeing this post, I’ve seen someone else getting the snark and a non answer for a simple question. And also a Blåhaj user.

As much of a public bathroom as it could be, AskReddit was pretty fun for ‘silly’ questions and general chatting. And a nice place for new users to hang around and gain karma and confidence. But with the gatekeeper neckbeardy types around, maybe what it needs on Lemmy is to be in an instance with rules that promote friendliness and good vibes.

Just an idea to throw out there anyway.

I hope this isn't a question that's already been asked to death, in app search for "mbin" isn't all that helpful.

I'm still in the stages of looking for a permanent home here in the fediverse. So far mbin has really caught my eye because it's basically Lemmy+ for all intents and purposes (at least for mine). I'm not all that happy with what looks like the only Android app though.

So I was wondering if there were any plans to add mbin functionality to any existing Lemmy apps? Even if I used a Lemmy app solely for the 'Threads' or Lemmy section of mbin, then used the web page or only mbin app for everything else, I would be fine with that.

I tried to see if I could sign in with the app that I'm currently using (Eternity), with the kbin.earth instance and no luck. So obviously the API is just that much different.

Are any devs here thinking of expanding their apps in future? Or is there one I've missed? I've seen more than one app with the description "For Lemmy and the Fediverse", but what exactly is meant by "and the Fediverse" is unclear.

First the bugs:

• Trying to edit the top tabs such as rename or rearrange seems to do absolutely nothing, although the changes that you make in settings seem to stick.

• Changing the default server for the 'Anonymous' account also seems to do nothing. Once again, the setting does stick though.

Observations / suggestion:

I notice that there is a placeholder for 'multicommunities'. And I think I came across one or two other things that are placeholders / leftovers from Infinity. So it's all good, everything from app to the platform itself is WiP.

My suggestion is that for now, while we can't create or add multicommunities and have a bit of variety in our feeds, what about being able to add the local feeds of other instances? So that regardless of which instance I'm signed up in, I can have my Subscribed, Local, All tabs, as well as for eg. a 'World' tab, 'Blåhaj' tab etc. Is this something even remotely possible? Don't think I've seen other apps with this idea either.