adinfinitum

Those who like Neil Diamond and those who don't?

I'm going to invent a phone that instead of autocorrect, it just blows off a finger when you misspell a word. You'll learn your lesson real quick.

It feels like the internet is on fire but the firemen hooked their hoses into a gas pump

Mirab, with sails unfurled

What episode is that?

Probably because it wasn't made by an actual reddit user

It would be funny to buy an ad that said that if it didn't involve giving him money

Even in their ads for ads they have to get their content from their user base

Okay, this bflix thing is amazing. How is it legal? How do they pay for it?

I'd dip my breadstick in that.

How does this agenda look?

7:00 Wake up

8:00 Be bisexual

9:00 Eat hot chip

10:00 Lie

Remember when Gary Johnson argued that climate change wasn't a big deal because the sun would become a red giant in a few billion years anyway?