They're not as fancy looking, but I can't recoomend a big squishy plug highly enough. Super soft silicone ao they're easy to get in, but nice and big and filling. Square peg toys and topped toys make some good ones.
I've slept with my gape keeper in a few times
Prostate orgasms are hard to achieve, I just use plugs and dildos and fuck they're heavenly but I still haven't hit a hands free orgasm yet. Been getting close recently though. But yeah, it doesn't reflect on you as a top so much as how much the bottom is wired for it you know?