miryem

What are the differences between this community and [email protected]?

In general i think this is such a niche area that having two communities is for it is a bit overkill?

Hey all, i need some advice. Theres a person i have to deal with on a regular basis that repeatedly misgenders me, and im having issues dealing with it. I would appreciate advice on how to approach and deal with this cause im at a loss.

So this person is themselves nonbinary, which makes this all the more difficult and frustrating cause they should know better (warning, small rant incoming). They are the first to call out others on their errors (in a rather intense way) but cannot handle being called out themselves, theyve even gotten upset when someone they volunteer with gets a compliment on their work because they think you should compliment everyone or no one (but theyre fine with being complimented individually when its them recieving the compliment). They engage in performative diversity (eg publicising and parading around "i included so-and-so queer person") and tokenize others and use their own identity as a shield (they cannot do anything wrong to queer people because theyre nonbinary and pansexual). They seem to reduce gender to presentation, which is shocking as theyre a feminine presenting nonbinary person who has been very clear that theyre not a girl.

Ive come out to them four times now. Im fucking done. And the sad part is, i dont think its malicious. I think they just literally dont give a shit. They go off about how being called she/her is so frustrating and traumatizing for them, but they misgender me fucking constantly. We just met up for the first time after the summer break (we volunteer in an education adjacent area) and my SO was constantly gendering me correctly and calling me by my name but still, they persist. Today was especially hard cause i was at that point in my cycle and have been really emotional today and yesterday.

To sum up, i need advice on how to deal with this situation. I am at a loss for how to get them to stop. I dont want to give up this volunteering because i really enjoy it, and its basically my only hobby/thing that gets me out of the house. But theyre making it impossible to enjoy. I have the assertiveness of a damp paper towel, and ive already tried talking to them (four fucking times!), so what else can i do?

Thanks for any and all insight, advice, and/or camraderie. Im sending this off into the ether before i head to sleep so ill respond come morning.

Anyone else do this? You grab a ball or two of yarn, cast on some random number of stitches, and start knitting? I love doing this, not knowing the outcome. Sometimes it turns into a scarf, or a hat, or a cowl, or a mess that i unravel and wind back on the nøstepinne.

Im just bursting with joy rn, and wanted to share. I came out to my FIL, who ive known for 6 years. I was nervous of course, it could have gone poorly, but the first words out of his mouth after i told him were "congratulations", and it set the tone for the rest of the convo. My own father is a difficult man and this guy has been so wonderful to me, im just over the moon! I knew he wouldnt be a putz, but its nice to have it confirmed!

Anyway, its just happy happy times over here. Tomorrow is my MIL and BIL i come out to, and im hoping for similar reactions.