safetyaccount1

Dear Daughter,

It is with great happiness and absolute nervousness that I tell you your mom and I got engaged! I really do love her a lot. Since she stuck up for me when Grandpa died in that fight we had with your uncle and aunt, I decided she is the one. I'm a bit nervous about this though, and I'm not the only one. You see my best friend, my brother and my cousin are all concerned that I might be making the wrong decision here. I really love her a lot, plus she is wealthy. Not that money is important. Love and respect should always be first. Life should be comfortable for me going forward. I've worked hard and earned my way but it helps to have a wife that comes from wealth, right? I mean she probably doesn't have bad habits with money and she is probably not dependent on her parents for everything (I hope). You know daddy did rely on his parents for a long time when he was growing up, but once I launched from their home I've been independent since.

I proposed to your mom on an island in San Francisco on her birthday. Isn't that romantic? We were taking photos of flowers on the island and I put the ring in front of her camera while she was taking a photo of one flower in particular. Then I got on one knee and proposed to her. Do you believe that she started to yell at me to tell me to get out of the way of the camera? Here I am proposing to her and she says get out of my way. But once she realized what I was doing she loosened up and was happy about it.

For a long time your mom was pressing me to get married. She kept on mentioning your aunt's wedding and Erica and Neil's marriage, some of her good friends. Everything was marriage, marriage, and more marriage. Of course, I love your mom and want to make her happy so I decided to do it!

Just to let you know that weeks before, I went to your grandpa and asked him if it was okay to ask your mom to marry me. He was happy about it and so was your grandma.

Something was strange about that trip to San Francisco. Before I proposed, I could sense something was awry with your mom. Daddy is like you. I am a highly sensitive person. There is nothing wrong with that. In fact many important people and rulers have been highly sensitive. It serves a very unique purpose that I will touch upon in future postings.

Anyway, your mom already has the photographer, marriage guy (not sure what you would call him since it's not a priest), DJ and everything else already prepared a month after I proposed. Holy cow!

I do have a couple of concerns. I reinforced the idea to your mom that I need my space. I told her again, I will be the most loyal man to her, but I need her to give me my space. I've mentioned what that means in a previous post to you. I hope you remember. I know your mom has a problem with organized religion as well. I told her if we have kids, they would have to be brought up Christian. Thankfully she agreed.

Aside from that, me and your mom got into a couple of arguments. You see your mom was talking to her ex-boyfriend through email. I told her that is not appropriate and she continued to do so. She also got a male personal trainer, when I suggested that she shouldn't. She apologized and promised that it wouldn't happen again. I guess I get so jealous sometimes with your mom, but I'm not the jealous type. I just want some respect. I had the same issue with an ex-girlfriend reaching out to me, and I told your mom, and when she told me to stop talking with her, I did immediately. I feel bad because I didn't tell my ex that I was cutting off communication with her. I really liked my ex. She was a good person. I feel bad for cutting her off like that. It's good though that your mom gave her ex some notice about it. At least someone didn't get hurt too badly from this.

Anyway, plans for you are on the way. I'm nervous but looking forward to it.

Love,
Your loving Dad

Dear Daughter,

I am sorry to say that your Grandpa in New York fought a tough battle against cancer and he unfortunately passed away in September. I've been going back to New York every three months since Grandpa got sick to spend a few weeks with them each time, to help around the house. They have been really good at my work, allowing me to go back to the office in Manhattan where I used to work before I moved. But his time finally came and he is now with God in heaven.

Grandpas funeral was nice. He was a very loved man with so many friends. We couldn't pack everyone into the funeral home it was so crowded. There were two soldiers there that provided a military funeral honor. They folded the U.S. flag and presented it to Grandma. It was very touching. Grandma was crying.

Your mom was great support. She flew out right away and helped me feel better about everything. We were at home after the funeral and I got into an argument with your aunt and uncle and your mom jumped in to defend me. I was real proud of your mom for sticking up for me. I guess things get stressful sometimes when people pass away. Later on, your uncle stated that he didn't think it was appropriate for her to get involved since she really wasn't family. Everyone made up afterwards, so all was good.

Grandpa's ashes will be spread up in the mountains in New York. Grandma made a joke that the deer that Grandpa used to hunt are now going to pee on his ashes as payback for trying to shoot them. We all laughed. She is so funny sometimes. We're all sad to say goodbye to Grandpa. He will be missed.

Love,
Your Dad

Dear Daughter,

One important part of a relationship is being able to listen. Your mom thinks I'm the best listener. She would come home from work at night, and I would be like her personal psychologist. Your mom was at a company that was going out of business. I would listen to her stories all night and respond to her giving her advice whenever I saw fit.

The one thing I had a problem with, was her ability to really dig in negatively towards people. There was this one guy in the office that she didn't like. I guess he smoked and used his hands after smoking to reach in a candy jar or something. This would infuriate your mom, to the point that she would rip this guy to shreds verbally. I didn't see a big deal with it. One day I met this guy at one of her company lunches and he seemed pretty nice. I got along with him very well. He didn't smell or wasn't dirty or insulting like your mom said. I'm not sure why she said all those things about him, but it brings me to another issue regarding your mom's cousin.

I guess your mom's cousin worked at the car wash or his dad did or something. He was giving all his friends in his automobile club free car washes. She would rip into him every chance she got. The funny thing is, I liked him too. He gave us a nice Christmas gift last year.

My mother, your grandma, always used to say, "if you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all". That was usually when she was receiving criticism. lol! Now that I think back to it, your grandmother never speaks ill of anyone and neither does your grandfather. They are two wonderful people. Granpa is not feeling too well. I wish I was there to hug them both.

Love,
Dad

Dear Daughter,

Your mom and I went to Hawaii. How fun was that! We went to the Big Island and visited the North Shore to hang out with the turtles. We then went to Pearl Harbor to show our respect to the people that died during the war there. I even bought a flag that was flown on one of the surviving ships that were in the harbor during WWII. Your mom and I are getting very cozy together. We're so in love.

Your mom is already asking about marriage. She is so sweet. I would love to get married to her, but we need a little bit more time together. I told your mom that if we were to get married, I still need my space. I told her that she will have the most loyal man in the world if she were the type of woman that would allow me to have my space. Space means time to myself, or with my friends or with my family and she can have her space.

We did have a little incident that happened together. Your mom and I just got out of a restaurant. We parked about a block away and it was nighttime. On our way to the car, your mom and I got into an argument about the topic of giving me my space. I guess she doesn't like to share me. Sometimes she says she is okay with it, but often, actions speak louder than words. She got angry a few times when I exercised that, so called space, that I need. Granted, I could have been a little more courteous to her in some of those situations.

The argument got heated and there was a police officer coming by with the window down on his patrol car. Your mom looked at the police office and started to raise her voice even louder, as if she were in trouble. The police officer got out of his vehicle and looked at me and then her, and he asked her if she was okay or if I was harassing her. Your mom calmed down with a smile on her face and said, "yes officer, everything is okay". What your mom did there was bring some false attention to herself in order to make me feel threatened. Well, I wasn't happy with that and on the way back to your grandparents we argued more. I ended up forgiving her. She said she would never do that again, and I believe her. I love her so much.

Love,
Your Dad

First I want to apologize for the statements about lacking no moral compass. I wasn't referring to you. I hope you recall our conversation back in 2012? It's interesting that I know exactly where I was standing when I called you that day. The sun was at it's fullest and I hid in shade behind a tall building at my work while I was anxious and pretty angry about what was happening to me and my daughter. It really never had to be this way, ever.

You told me to get an attorney and that I shouldn't be talking to anyone. I want to thank you for the support you gave me towards the end. Oh what a disaster it turned into and I was becoming reckless myself because of it.

The one thing I want to tell you is that I'm a bit upset with you. It's not because you sided with them. Of course, I expected you to. It was because you didn't tell me directly what I was up against, and you didn't try to help that individual. When I told you I didn't understand who she had become, you rattled off a few symptoms. My jaw dropped when you went through the list. I wouldn't exactly say it was the following, but I think you know exactly what I'm talking about.

manipulative and controlling behavior, deflection, projection, devaluation and discard

It wasn't until later when I realized what you had already known.

I'm sorry if I got you in trouble with the family. I understand that she flipped out the moment she heard you were talking with me. I'm surprised you didn't get devalued and discarded. Again, thank you for helping me.

Sincerely.

Dear Daughter,

Your mother and I are very much in love. Recently, I had moved from my place by the beach to a bigger place in a really nice area. There's a theatre here and plenty of restaurants. They have a nice big pool and a lot of really cool people, it seems. Your mom went with me to sign the lease. When we got to the leasing office, she started to cry. I held her and asked her why she was crying and she said to me that it was because we were not doing this together. Your mom loves me so much that she wanted us both to live together. I was so touched by that. I felt really good about it, but sad for her. I thought to myself that it might be too soon for that, and besides her place is only one bedroom. I have too much junk to bring with me. Also perhaps another reason why I didn't want to move in with her was because an incident occurred between her and I. You see, on the way up to your grandparents to spend the weekend, your mom and I got into an argument in the car. Arguments are normal. People sometimes disagree with one another. In relationships we often need to communicate and sometimes compromise to settle our differences. Those are very big parts of a successful relationship. A big problem is when one of the parties get physical. Unfortunately, your mom started hitting me on the way up to your grandparents. She smacked me a number of times on my face. I was deeply surprised by this and I told her to turn around and bring me home. She begged me to continue to your grandparents and I was upset and sat in my seat sulking and silent. When we got up to your grandparents and we got out of the car, I told your mother that hitting was never to happen again. I told her that I would never get physical with a woman for any reason. and that she is to never hit me ever again or I will leave her. Your mom started to cry and begged me stating that she would never do it again. I believe your mom and I love her very much, but I don't have much tolerance for antics like that. I gave her another chance. If she does it again, I will certainly leave her. I honestly don't understand what came over her, but I forgive her and I can move on.

Love,
Your Dad

Dear Daughter,

The relationship between your mom and I has progressed rapidly. Sometimes, I wonder if she has some secret agenda to snatch me off the market. She's always talking about your aunt's wedding and how great it was. That's okay if she does talk about it. I really like your mom a lot. I'm going to tell you a secret, that I hope you can keep. I told your mom that I love her first in our relationship, but let's pretend that she said it first, okay? It will be our little secret. We've done a lot of traveling together. We've visited Mexico and San Francisco and we even went to Asia. In Asia we met your great great grandparents, your great aunt and second cousin and a whole bunch of other family members. Everyone there seems to have as big a home as your grandparents do in the USA. In Asia your family had servants and drivers and we got massages every single day right at their home. Your great aunts were amazed that I could eat any street food and never get sick. I love exploring the world and taking crazy risks like that. It adds to the experience. I have a pretty good stomach for a white guy. In China, people kept giving me a fork when we sat down to eat. They were surprised when I showed them how good I was with chopsticks. On our trip to Asia we went on a tour bus in China and your mom hit it off with another gentlemen our age. She would talk to him all throughout the bus tour, even sit next to him. I never complained, but I did mention it to her. Your mom said that it was because he was Asian too, and that they had many similar experiences in their childhood. She also came up with the typical excuse to disengage a man's jealousy by telling me he was gay. That means he only has feelings for other men. That's okay, I give her 'E' for effort, and quickly forgot about it. I'm not a jealous person. It's just that I love your mom so much. While in China, both your mom and I realized that people were starring at us as they walked by. We asked the tour guide why that might be the case and he told us that it was not common in China for an Asian woman to be with a Euromerican™. We understood right away. It's also not a common occurrence in the U.S. Your mom and I rarely see that combination of couples at home. I told her that we had, what I coined, as a "fusion-love", and we were the first of our kind. We both laughed. I bought a knapsack in China. It was the best design, had so many zippers and pockets. Over the course of the next few days the bag disintegrated in front of my eyes. Zippers came off, pockets ripped. Lesson learned, be careful when buying stuff there. It may look good and costs cheap, you may have a problem with it later. Well, maybe one day you will visit Asia with your mom and I in the future, after you are born.

Love,
Your Dad

[https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/women-autism-spectrum-disorder/202010/are-you-narcissist-s-flying-monkey]

Anyone who remembers watching the Wizard of Oz as a child will probably remember how horrifying the Wicked Witch of the West’s flying monkeys were. These monkeys were sent by the witch to do her dirty work, and the phrase has since become synonymous with people who end up doing the dirty work of a narcissist. ...

Dear Daughter,

You’re such a lucky girl to be born in such a wonderful country. Your great grandparents on my mom’s side came to America to escape persecution and poverty. Your great grandparents on my dad’s side came here because of extreme poverty and corruption where they lived. They came on ships and around that time it could take up to 12 weeks to get from Europe to New York. Many people died on those ships from disease. It wasn't easy trip for them. Unfortunately, both families experienced some form of bias when they arrived in America for religious differences and believe it or not, the color of their skin (since my Dad’s side were Southern Europeans - that's why you have a beautiful yearly tan that I'm jealous of) They overcame the challenges they faced and thrived in this country. Here are their birth certificates.

Now to the lesson. You’ve probably learned much of this in school, but hopefully you don’t mind the refresher. What makes this country so good is that we have a constitution. Some men decided a long time ago that it would be a good idea to put these laws on the land in the place, and they did a really good job because our Constitution is the longest surviving written charter of government.

The Bill of Rights is the 10 Amendments of the Constitution (there are more). It guarantees civil rights and liberties to individuals like freedom of speech, press and religion. The First Amendment in the Bill of Rights, protects freedom of speech, the press, assembly and other free speech issues. Speech should never be inhibited. I know you tell Daddy that sometimes I talk too much, and I agree, but this is different in the respect that some people want to prevent people from speaking so that they can get their way. They might have a cause they want to push their agenda for that might not be good for all.

Let me tell you how the First Amendment grew on me. In College my favorite class was speech. (I know you’ll agree with that, because I talk too much.) In speech, we were given the task of being for or against flag burning. During that time, there was a lot of political unrest in the middle east and people were burning the American flag even in the U.S. and as a patriotic young man, I thought yeah, it’s okay if they wrap themselves in it first (that means suicide, which I didn’t condone). I did a pretty good job on the speech and the class for which I got an 'A'. It wasn’t until years that I realized the point that the professor was trying to get across. By denying them the right to burn the flag, I am silencing their right to freedom of speech. Enlightenment, despite being a late bloomer, and despite my disagreement with torching the old red and white and blue, I’ll never stop them, unless it’s on my lawn. Lol

The First Amendment applies to my postings here because it is my right to say what I want. Now, that's not to say that I can't be held responsible for lying. If I were to say something false about someone and it caused them some damage to their reputation, that would be defamation, specifically known as libel. Libel is when a false statement about someone is published in any type of written form and it causes some damage to their reputation. So, Daddy has to be very careful and only tell the truth and I'm accumulating evidence for everything I write in the event that you do see this information sometime in the future. I may have an opinion and speculate about something, and I want you to make sure you understand the difference between fact and opinion.

The First Amendment also applies to your freedom to practice religion. No one should ever take that right from you. When I was visiting in China I met up with a friend and she invited me to church on a Sunday. I happily accepted. Their Christian church was very small, about the size of two of your bedrooms put together. Everyone was so happy and nice there. They asked me to speak to them about my life in America. They sang and prayed, but they also worried. You see their government restricts religion because the they believe it conflicts with the ideology of their laws. The church I was at was transitory, meaning that it was never at the same place each time for fear that it would be shutdown and they could be arrested. I know you don't like your Sunday school class, but try and use that time to ponder on the direction of your life and how you can stay happy. If you think about the laws of this great land, they were borrowed from the ideas brought over by Christianity. Thou shalt not steal or kill. Remember those right?

Daddy has a friend that had the same judge as me for our custody case. This man told the truth about what was happening with his family online in their custody case. The judge was being unfair and ordered a restraining order against this man preventing him from seeing his children. The same judge told him he could no longer do that and ordered him to stop and remove the content. He filed an appeal against the judge's decision to silence him and won. Imagine that. A judge that went against the constitution, the very fabric of laws of this great nation. This same judge made a big mistake in my case. It was not as severe as his but it prevented me from getting the help that I need to care for you.

Justice is the ethical, philosophical idea that people are to be treated impartially, fairly, properly, and reasonably by the law and by arbiters of the law, that laws are to ensure that no harm befalls another, and that, where harm is alleged, a remedial action is taken - both the accuser and the accused receive a morally right consequence merited by their actions.

Due Process is fair treatment through the normal judicial system, especially as a citizen's entitlement.

Corruption is a dishonest, fraudulent, or even criminal act of an individual or organization, using entrusted authority or power to make a personal gain or a gain for another individual or institution.

Prejudice in favor of or against one thing, person, or group compared with another, usually in a way considered to be unfair.

Favoritism is the practice of giving unfair preferential treatment to one person or group at the expense of another.

Unethical not morally correct.

Perjury the criminal offense of making a false statement under oath, either in writing or verbally that one knows is false, and that is material to the proceedings in which the statement is made.

Appeal apply to a higher court for a reversal of a decision made by a lower court.

Harassment any unwanted behavior, physical or verbal (even suggested), that makes a reasonable person feel uncomfortable, humiliated, or mentally distressed.

libel is a published or written false statement that is damaging to a person's reputation

Restraining order a court order issued to prohibit an individual from carrying out a particular action, especially approaching or contacting a specified person.

That's it for now. I'll add more definitions further when I tell more history about your mom and I.

Love,
Your Dad

Dear Daughter,

This past weekend I met your grandparents on your mom's side. We drove up to their home in the evening on Friday, and we stayed the entire weekend. I was very impressed with the size of their home as we pulled up to the gate. I knew your mom was wealthy, but I didn't realize how wealthy they were. I don't think I've been in a 10 bedroom home before. Well, maybe once, back when I lived across country for a black-tie event for a former boss. Your grandparents had a nice pool and a tennis court on the property. Very impressive.

I slept in the money room. I called it the money room because everything was some light tone of green. The furniture, bed sheets and I think even the bathroom was green. A bit monotonous but interesting, nonetheless.
Your uncle and aunt were there and your great grandma. Your mom showed me around the place, and we played some pool. I don't know how she always manages to beat me.

The next day we had a long chat with your grandma. We talked about investing and she showed us the jewelry she made. I like the fact that she watches the same news show as I do. I see that your grandma likes to wear moomoo dresses around the house, since she wore them all weekend. I could tell she was a little uncomfortable around me for the first time. She kept adjusting it in my presence. I tried not to look and turned away often, just to be polite.

I noticed your grandpa has a stuffed tiger in the living room. Your other grandpa (my dad), despite being an avid deer hunter was big on conservation. He might not appreciate that fact, so I never told him. He hasn't been feeling very well lately. Overall, everyone was very welcoming and friendly to me. Your grandma knew that I like beer, so they stacked the entire fridge with beer. It looked like something from a rap video. Me and your uncle had one or two of them. I also met their good friend of the family. He seems to be a nice guy. Overall, it seemed to be a good experience.

I saw a picture of your mom with her cousins. Is there any reason that she is the lightest one out of all of them?

Love,
Your Dad

Dear Daughter,

Today your mom and I went out to dinner for the first time with your aunt and uncle. This is the first time I've met them. I think your mom likes me a lot so it was nice to see her make this move. Things are moving a bit fast. We had a nice dinner but I felt a little awkward not being the same ethnicity as everyone at the table. It's not something that they did. It's just something I felt inside. To be honest I thought I wouldn't be as accepted for that reason, but they made me feel very comfortable. They were very nice and we hit it off right away. Your uncle likes to golf so hopefully we will set something up soon.

P.S. Your mom told me, that if her family asks where we meet, she said to tell them we met through a common friend. It's still a bit of a taboo concept nowadays to meet someone online. So I will go on pretending. I guess your mom really likes to keep her image up.

Love, Your Dad

Dear Daughter,

Today I went out with your mom on our first date. I have to admit I was very excited afterward. She is everything that I have been looking for in a woman. She is beautiful, friendly and successful and she really seemed interested in me too. I have to admit I pressed our date by forcing your mom to walk to the pier while she wore high heels. I have to say that she looked like she was straining by the end of the date. She kept her composure and was a real trooper about it. I did apologize afterward though. I really hope to see her again soon. Perhaps on our next date I will try to impress her by cooking dinner for her. That's if she agrees to go on one, though. Anyway, I'm so happy about our date that I've told all my friends how well it went. I'm even keeping our first emails. [EXHIBIT A]

Love, Your Dad