saltnotsugar

sudo woof

Billy the Roman: But-but we can’t move water over those hills!

Roman engineer bros: Just watch and learn baby.

Some bro took an arrow to the banana and his friends were like, “WE NEED THE BLACKSMITH… RIGHT… FRIGGIN… NOW.”

What pox have you brought to this accursed land?

I told my financial adviser this was my near time goal, and he said that it wasn’t fiscally responsible.

I know its pronounced Pizzaballa, but in my head it’s Pizza (techno air horns) BAWWWWWLAH!

Roll a d6…this is how many times you have to get up to pee during that sleep. Shouldn’t have drank 10 health potions huh?

We’re here live in Moscow and somehow 4,000 angry chimps have gotten loose and…my goodness they’re hauling away Putin…eating all the snacks…THE SNACKS ARE GONE. MY LORD THE SNACKS ARE GONE.

My brain: I only slept 4 hours, and can barely keep going.
Also my brain: It’s midnight so time to think about dumb things I did back in high school.

We shall cook these items in the light of the sun. -Human girlfriend

Awww yeah. And then I’ll say, “Good heavens!”

I just want to wear a tux, a monocle, and some large medals while gossiping about the aristocracy.