apparently our great Prime has seven bins and has abandoned plans to tell us all to get seven bins in his battle against climate change. With this kind of assertive action he could get a job in any hotel.

How many bins have you got? we have 3 and a bag hanging off the door handle

In an episode of Food Unwrapped, TV presenter and farmer Jimmy Doherty paid for kebabs from nine different takeaways and delivered them to forensic scientist Paul Hancock to find out what was really in them. And the results were surprising.

...

And Jimmy was visibly shocked to learn that only one of the nine kebabs was made from 100% lamb. "Most of them contain chicken,” Paul told him. "We've also got a couple which contain beef. Fortunately, we found no goat, no donkey, and no horse in any of the products."

Asked what he would expect to see with a larger sample size - around 900 kebabs - Paul estimated that he would see around a 60% failure rate. Viewers were quick to share their thoughts.

"So just like fast food burgers, it's mystery meat," one commented on YouTube, while a second echoed: "Question should be, what is not in a doner kebab?!" A third wrote: "Noticed how 10% was called bulk…"

...

Not everyone was put off, however. "I love a doner kebab," one viewer wrote. “"I even eat it sober. It's bloody delicious! My issue is finding a decent chilli sauce seems to be an issue these days!" Another second noted: "I don't care what it is made of - as long as all the ingredients are honestly listed so I can make an informed choice."

A third advised: "If you want 100% of a specific meat either chicken or lamb doner then only go to a restaurant that serves Yaprak Doner. It translates as leaf doner, the cut gives you smaller pieces instead of the long strip of meat but you are guaranteed the meat you want as it's made in-house.

"They basically stack thin, leafs of meat over each other a bit like how they do in this documentary but here it was more blobs of meat they compress to form the industrial doners. Anyway, contrary to popular belief, doner is actually a Kurdish invention, throwing that trivia out there in case it pops up as an entry question at the gates of heaven!"

Look, I know the forecast was for Saturday to be the last hot day of the year, but I thought we might have a few days of grey before the start of all-out autumn rainstorms.

I'd like to apologize to the entire country for allowing this to have happened. I'm sorry.

Update

Made a small Tesco run and got some Yorkshire Tea. On with the day.

An oldie but a goodie.

The full commentary track is here. Looks like the Beeb slap down anyone trying to sync the whole footage, hence the YouTube Short. Here's another bit from them leaving the palace.

Ahh rain and sub 30c temperatures, how I have missed thee. 😍

#UK #Heatwave #Weather @casualuk

sips tea

I thought "they can't be that bad surely?"

I was wrong. So, so wrong.

no, Belf is not a word

The Funniest Joke of the Fringe award, now in its 14th year, is presented annually to a quip or one-liner deemed most hilarious by a panel of judges and a public vote. This year’s winner was comedian Lorna Rose Treen, who captured 44 per cent of the vote with this gem:

“I started dating a zookeeper, but it turned out he was a cheetah.”

Look, I can’t think of anything meaner than making fun of somebody for making a bad joke, but I’m going to grit my teeth and try my best.

...

I’m not the first person to point this out – Twitter/X has been especially unkind to this year’s winner – but the joke barely makes sense. Cheetahs and zookeepers aren’t synonymous, they’re just two things that are occasionally in close proximity to one another. A better version of the joke might be something like “Why did the tiger lose at poker? Because he was playing with a cheetah”.

...

To be fair to Treen, it’s not just her. Of the top 10 jokes that were shortlisted for the award, only one of them even really registers as a proper joke. William Stone’s “Nationwide must have looked pretty silly when they opened their first branch” is pretty clever, and has that sort of cool Mitch Hedberg quality that helps it rise above the others, which are essentially just a collection of lazy puns and twee observations. This one by Daniel Foxx is especially egregious: “My grandma describes herself as being in her ‘twilight years’ which I love because they’re great films”. That isn’t even a pun! That’s just word association!

cross-posted from: https://feddit.uk/post/1486266

The makers of Panthera Britannia Declassified, a new documentary on Amazon Prime, claim to have discovered the clearest ever photograph of a big cat in the British countryside: a panther-like creature lying in the long grass in Smallthorne, Staffordshire. It’s probably the best photo of a British big cat that exists.

According to the documentary-makers who discovered the photo in the files of a zoology organisation, the photo is dated 17 March. But it doesn’t say what year.

...

the Amazon documentary also presents DNA evidence proving the presence of at least one wild big cat near a sheep-kill in Gloucestershire in July 2022.

fundraising page here

Never thought I'd find myself in this position, but here I am.

Late one night last week, Bernie really wasn't himself and we felt a mass in his belly. We called an advice line and were told it was an emergency situation, and that we needed to get him to an out of hours vet immediately.

Once he was checked, we learned he was suffering from something called idiopathic feline lower urinary tract disease, meaning his urethra is constricting and not allowing him to pass urine.

He has had 3 catheters, and is still unable to urinate. A fourth catheter has been inserted today, until he can (hopefully) have surgery on Monday.

The only option now to avoid losing him, is a procedure called perennial urethrostomy, to create a new opening in his urethra, so that he can urinate.

Unfortunately the care he has already received over the past week has taken us up to the limit of his insurance cover, and we have been quoted £6,500 for the procedure.

We are of course working to raise the funds ourselves, but the avenues we're exploring aren't guaranteed and if approved, are likely to take some time to get to us.

This is a living nightmare for us, so I'm throwing myself at the aid of the internet.

Even if all you can do is share the GoFundMe link where you think it may be seen by someone who can help, we would all be so grateful.

fundraising page here

irish nazis have had their gold nicked