ADHD

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A casual community for people with ADHD

Values:

Acceptance, Openness, Understanding, Equality, Reciprocity.

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Mark NSFW content accordingly.
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Respectful venting, including dealing with oppressive neurotypical culture, is okay.
Discussing other neurological problems like autism, anxiety, ptsd, and brain injury are allowed.
Discussions regarding medication are allowed as long as you are describing your own situation and not telling others what to do (only qualified medical practitioners can prescribe medication).

Encouraged:

Funny memes.
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Questions on confusing situations.
Seeking and sharing support.
Engagement in our values.

Relevant Lemmy communities:

Neurodivergent Life Hacks

lemmy.world/c/adhd will happily promote other ND communities as long as said communities demonstrate that they share our values.

founded 2 years ago

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I got a call from my mom yesterday... (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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A rant. FYI, this post might be a but triggering for some.

She called about ADHD. She was renewing her nursing license (though she's retired) and said she took a course on adult ADHD. She said she felt bad that she has been so ignorant about it, and that she didn’t know I was suffering all this time.

I didn't, but I wanted to say, "what the fuck do you mean you didn't know??? How????"

I literally requested help for it at like 13, but the doctor gave up on it immediately after I was on Concerta for just a few weeks because I was FORGETTING TO TAKE IT (??????). She said, "you're just depressed and anxious". Okay??? As if it's impossible to have ADHD too???

Never mind the fact that when the doctor dismissed me the first time, it took me crying to get her to even consider it the first place.

My parents didn't even say anything when she took me off of Concerta and reiterated that she thought i just had depression and anxiety. They just accepted it even though I KNEW I had it. I did the research, because no one else was going to, clearly. And I knew my feelings usually weren't taken seriously, anyway.

I was finally able to get medicated just recently. I'm 32. I appreciate her trying now, but I needed help then. My life could've been so much different if I hadn't been easily and frequently dismissed.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Sometimes parents look back on things and realize that it's too little too late. My mother doesn't like the relationship I have with her (I'm not zero contact but I only call when I'm feeling up to it and that can take months). I was physically abused as a kid on top of having ADHD (then ADD), and I was diagnosed but never medicated.

My youngest brother has Autism and my parents went above and beyond to get him everything he needed by my sister and I (both with ADHD) basically got nothing.

It's exhausting to think about what ifs. At this point in this time I have received an apology (though not for the things I remember, and more for the things she regrets which do not necessarily align). I think a lot of her regret is based on our relationship now and how she wishes it could be.

But I look at it like this. I'm just living in the world, doing my best to survive and take care of myself. That's something I have been doing since I was a child. I continue to do that because I don't know any other way. I do not have the energy to give to her for her regret. I acknowledge it. I accept the apology. But I gave up being angry about it. I just do not have the energy for it.

We can't change how we grew up. It's better to acknowledge the sentiment and move on. At least, I think so. Try not to tie up too much of yourself in what could have been. Get to know and accept the you that is in the here and now. You'll make your own way. You got this far.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

I think a lot of her regret is based on our relationship now and how she wishes it could be.

Yeahhh, my mother as well. But you're right. It helps no one to dwell on the past. Thank you for your advice.