Men's Liberation
This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.
Rules
Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people
Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren't talking over men expressing their own lived experiences.
Be productive
Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people's efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed.
Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting:
- Build upon the OP
- Discuss concepts rather than semantics
- No low effort comments
- No personal attacks
Assume good faith
Do not call other submitters' personal experiences into question.
No bigotry
Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated.
No brigading
Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues.
Recommended Reading
- The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love by bell hooks
- Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements by Michael Messner
Related Communities
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
view the rest of the comments
I mean, women do their part to contribute to consumerism.
The main reason why guys want money is so they can be more appealing to women.
But that's not women's fault, that's patriarchys fault for instilling into men on a deep cultural level that they need to make money to "provide" and then capitalism exploiting us workers so hard that that "providing" goal is impossible for a lot of us.
A lot of men deal with that insecurity by entering hustle grindset mindsets. Others get taken advantage of by right wing groups and say it's women's expectations at fault, not understanding that feminism also combats that expectation.
The point being, patriarchy binds us all, men and women with its expectations, and capitalism has made meeting those expectations impossible for a lot of people resulting in a double wombo combo of fucking men over.
I think this ignores part of the problem some younger guys have expressed which is their perspective partner still expect the guy to earn more and that's increasingly not the case.
A lot of men have no idea what feminism entails so they aren't aware that it calls not just for the adjustment in expectations and attitudes for men but for women as well. Clarifying what feminism is could fix a bunch of minor issues.
I think at this point it's time to take a step back and say "not all women".
The reaction to "drizzle drizzle" has been particularly telling in this regard: You can scroll through miles of comments of feminists^1^ trying to analyse the thing as "a movement", not really knowing what to make of it, where to put it, you can scroll through just as much mileage of "these men are gay" tiktoks from, well, the kind of women drizzle drizzle is taking the piss out of. And you'll also see reactions from women totally getting it: The ones who can't help but laugh along. Which is the only way to take this seriously.
The enforcement of patriarchy, or consumerism, whatever you want to call it and however you want to slice it, is not a particularly gendered thing. Just because you belong to an identifiable group doesn't mean that your actions or opinions are beneficial to that group. That would presume people to not be idiots which is never a safe assumption to make, present company and myself included.
^1^ "feminist" as in "contains the word feminist in the subreddit name" and suchlike. Not intended to be a deep analysis of the *isms.
I think it's always important to keep in mind that in any population of people there will be regressives.
I mean, sure. In this context in particularly though what I'm disappointed by is the cluelessness of self-identified feminists: As you yourself said in your other comment the "sprinkle sprinkle" sphere isn't exactly feminist, going exactly against the adjustments of expectations feminism wants to make among women, then comes along drizzle drizzle to make fun of sprinkle sprinkle, very much in line with feminist thought (though with male humour and camaraderie) and they just don't get it. Complete woosh.
...or,
<conspiracy_mode=on>, they do get it but play clueless to not have it publicly associated with feminism so that it can be more effective in influencing culture. 1d chess, 4d chess, who can tell the difference.Just to be clear Im not the same poster as the person who mentioned “sprinkle sprinkle”
Nope that was me myself. It's very much "men should pick up the bill or get lost" type stuff though so I connected it with your "expect to earn more" thing.
Now we just need a strong representative to frame this as populist rhetoric and the left will finally be able to stand on two feet
It's not their fault insomuch as they can't think for themselves, I'll agree with you there.
But the agreement stops when you blame the patriarchy over consumerism. No, this generation has been convinced to sell itself out to the lowest bidder. Average women are proud consumers that want to live like instagram models. Any kind of modesty is shunned in their social circles. It's drowned out by "look at this new thing I bought! Please praise me for spending money!"
The sex speaks for itself. Men have a ridiculously easy time getting laid if they have money, even if they're pieces of shit in every other way.
I should also note. The concept you are referring to as "they can't think for themselves" is called False Consciousness. The idea that oppressive systems like patriarchy and capitalism create this sense that you are acting with complete free will but you actually are following a set of expectations and thoughts and even language that feedback loops on itself in a never ending reinforcement loop.
It's like, your right at the core of what your saying. There is truth there. But you use such anti women language rather than targeting the systems, ideologies and incentives that make both men and women this way.
You are still just complaining about the intersection of patriarchy and capitalism. What you are saying is feminist theory. We are still in agreement here, though I disagree with the way you word it.
For example. You say that the average women wants to live like Instagram models. You are right, but that is due to patriarchy creating the cultural expectations that men are unable to meet in the modern world due to capitalisms squeeze. It is women simply trying to meet their side of the expectation.
Feminism is in part about how patriarchy binds both genders by expectations. People generally focus on the way it binds women. However it fucks men over as well. We are expected to have money, we are expected to "provide" weather in the classical sense of a family or in the modern sense of just having the money to meet consumerist whims, it doesn't really matter which one your talking about, it's still patriarchy.
When patriarchy is normally discussed it's about how men are privileged and women are oppressed. And while even as a, as the incels like to say, "low value man" you do have some societal privileges, it is very often ignored that patriarchy oppresses us men as well for not meeting those expectations. In this case, having money. Which we don't because capitalism funnels money into fewer and fewer hands, making fewer and fewer men able to achieve those expectations.
I hope I explained this well and didn't talk in too many circles. Like I said. Wombo combo of capitalism and patriarchy that tag team to fuck over men.
your post is concerning. What most people respond to is confidence and being fun/interesting. When I have previously had trouble getting dates the thing that needed fixing was my attitude NOT my finances.
Maybe that's the case because it's been the case since bartering started about 100,000 years ago... You'd rather your daughter marry a guy with a lot of stuff, rather than the guy with little stuff. If you think you can "just" change such an ancient system by introducing Feminism, then oh boy, are we even more fucked than I thought...
The only real issue is that Capitalism in the US has gone hogwild and concentrated most wealth down to 3 people. Europe is somewhat doing fine in that regard. Don't we have superrich people? Yeah, sure, but our bottom line is a LOT healthier. Not as healthy as I wish it to be, but fine-ish for now.
that's patriarchy, which enforces capitalism. that's not the natural order. that's how we're programmed
Bro that is Feudalism and Tribalism as well. You'd rather marry your daughter off to a rich man, than a poor one. That's nothing new to Capitalism. Except women now have the choice to do that themselves.