this post was submitted on 19 Mar 2025
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Not that you asked for advice, but if you ever find yourself in a similar situation, I'd try role playing a scenario before ever actually doing it. Like she pretends she doesn't want to, even though she does, and she gets to experience you saying bossy/dismissive things while she's actively consenting. Consensual non-consent is a real thing, but people on both ends need to have a pretty good grasp of the situation. Plenty of people realize they're not actually into a kink they thought they had once it becomes even just pretend real. The role playing phase (or ramp up phase depending on the kink) is sometimes helpful to people new to kink. Although it's not the same as engaging in the kink, I'd recommend it as a first step almost universally.
The fact she was anti safe word is obviously a red flag, and I wouldn't do anything with someone uninterested in safe words.