this post was submitted on 20 Mar 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 3 days ago (4 children)

You don't say?

Also, why is getting a doctor step 6?

[–] [email protected] 30 points 3 days ago

So you have time to violate them anally of course.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 days ago

Why isn’t step 1 disconnecting them from the electricity?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I think, don't pouring anything down the patients throat should be pretty much a given, when he hasn't breathing

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

So I shouldn't pour paint into their mouth? How about bleach? Still no? Damnit.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I thought it was common knowledge that you shouldn't pour bleach down an unconscious person's throat until after you've managed to shove so much of your first up their ass that you can use them as boxing gloves.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago

This was my first out-loud laugh of the day. Cheers!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago

Jimmy says his cousin used a Red Bull at a party he was at where some dude stopped breathing and it worked

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

Not sure if /s, but this could be from a time before phones were widely available and getting a doctor meant leaving the victim for a substantial amount of time.