this post was submitted on 24 Mar 2025
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I identify as an incel. I don't visit the incel web spaces though and I don't blame women for it.
I'm an incel because I can't afford to date. Like every week I'm barely able to get by living in poverty. Dating takes time and at least some money. If I got a little more of either, I'd have to use it to better my situation before dating.
I bring this point up because, as toxic as incel culture is, I rarely see it tied back to the shitty economy. Just people pointing fingers at each other as though the Male Loneliness phenomenon were entirely the result of people's personalities.
Because it is. Women aren't magically getting rich while all the men go bankrupt. Thinking you are lonely because you are poor is a cope fantasy that is 100% due to some kind of personality flaw you are harbouring.
It isn't just your stereotypical incel who is lonely. People aren't lonely because they suddenly just got worse at being people.
I see a lot of good, decent guys lonely who don't hate women, it's just that infrastructure and third places got defunded, so you're either at home alone or at work getting told it's only appropriate to socialise in company-approved ways.
Add in that rape somehow got politicised (mostly because we have rapists and pedophiles holding public office), so while we do fuck all for most of the victims who get raped in domestic situations, we get women and men afraid of talking to each other and also afraid of being talked to.
And people who come out and say 'hey I feel lonely' get told 'it's your fault'.
Yes I think the disappearance of third places has a lot to do with it.