this post was submitted on 30 Jun 2025
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I got new appliances a couple weeks ago and they're all "smart". Turns out a smart microwave just sends you a phone notification when it's done. By default.
As someone with multiple people living in the house, I can confidently say this is the dumbest "smart" feature ever. Promptly disabled.
How long are people microwaving things to the point where that is useful??!
if it don't complete under a Tiktok I ain't waiting!
/s
You joke but attention spans are so pitifully short after the brain rot exacerbated by rapid-fire on-demand content that I'm sure plenty of people have started a microwave, wandered away, and completely forgot about it.
As someone who hates appliances beeping, I love push notifications
I'm so tired at things beeping at me
Any appliance with IoT is a value-subtract.
They do it so in the future they can monetize you in perpetuity in some way
I can see value in HVAC IoT. Away from home and there's a cold spell? Turn up the heating so your pipes don't freeze, but also run it higher when electricity is cheaper (if you have variable pricing).
I don't think I'd want my microwave, washing machine, or toilet to have IoT features though.
My toilet sings when I lift the lid or sit down. I kind of wish I could upload a new song after all these years
American toilets get Singing toilets before bidets.
Wtf
The Toilet has alexa built into it
For that price, does it at least wash and dry your ass automatically? I can't imagine paying 10k for a toilet for lights and music lol
I want my washing machine to notify my phone when a cycle completes... But maybe not quite that much
Mine chimes a quaint little song. It's enough because it can be heard pretty much anywhere in the house unless I'm in the basement. If I'm not home, the notification wouldn't be particularly useful - I might as well just check when I get home.
I mean the idea isn't the absolute worst. I just don't think it's a huge QoL improvement either.
Any decent heating system will have a thermostat which will activate the heating when it's getting cold. Also no need for internet to be able to setup the time when electricity is cheaper. It's not like it's something you need to do regularly. Setting this all up directly on the heating system works well enough.
With day ahead pricing it changes... Daily.
My appliances are ‘smart’ but I didn’t bother actually connecting them to my WiFi. I guess preheating the oven remotely could be cool(?) but nah.
The stuff I do use…
The microwave above the stove can talk via Bluetooth(no app or phone involvement at all). Turn on a burner and you can set it to turn on the light and/or vent fan. Another nicety is being able to set the clock on the stove with the full keypad and it just syncs to the microwave.
Remote preheating sounds like a terrible idea. What if you mistakenly left something in there?
we need to add cloud connected cameras! oh and AI detection, that prevents you turning it on even if it's empty, but also if there's no network or if you need to do your yearly password update
Who mistakenly leaves things in an oven?
Well, there was at least that one time
The only smart thing I'd want an oven to do would be to turn itself off. That's it, really. Did I leave the oven on after I left the house? Easy fix. Otherwise everything else is pretty much useless.
I don't know, I wouldn't mind also being able to tell it to start to preheat while I'm on my way home. Would save a chunk of time if I could literally walk in the door and throw the food in the oven without the extra wait for it to preheat which is usually long enough to be annoying but not long enough to do anything else.
My stove won't preheat, I guess because it's a safety issue. Apparently you can set a remote start capability ahead of time that gets reset if you open the over door. But I've never tried it, since that seems like a lot.
Most people tend to stay in the same room (or a neighbouring room) when they're microwaving something. They could probably save on the cost of having a full-blown computer with wifi inside the microwave by just having the noisy thing from an alarm clock. But, ah, the fuck do I know?
Some 90's microwaves actually used some chips to measure humidity and using a little reference table adjust how long certain foods need to cook for, for instance, popcorn can be popped perfectly without burning and almost without leftover kernels if you can measure how much water is being released. The same goes for cooking frozen meats, vegetables, and so on.
But what we get in modern ones instead are horrendous touchscreens, simple timers that never quite match the food they promise to work on, and Wi-Fi.
You gotta spend for the moisture sensors and other fancy shit that actually works. We moved into a place with one of those microwaves and we are dreading when it breaks (I think it's like 3k for a new one)
a full blown computer, depending on how one defines the term, is so cheap that they are available in disposable pregnancy tests. This shouldn't be a thing because of the E waste and inefficiency but it's how things are.