this post was submitted on 09 Jul 2025
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I don't get DMs because no one recognizes me.
I literally walked into a bar with 14-15 men and women from my graduating class. I recognized and named each one. Not a single one of them recognized me.
I can blend in with a fed, doctor, magat, retail employee, door sales man.
For a long time the invisibility was painful.
But recently I realize, it can have a lot of power too.
Did you watch Iron Man 3, too? Just don't go full-Killian.
Yes I have, but I hope not to.
I had the opposite problem. 5 years and a new gender after high school people were recognizing me basically immediately. Like I looked pretty different…
I've come to accept that it's because I have a large and distinct presence, which is a blessing and a curse.
If you're ever interested in developing more presence, try performing the role of yourself. It's the same as being yourself but you ham it up a bit. Exaggerate the fun bits so the audience in the back can see. I noticed I do that instinctively while trying to learn to blend in.
I'm forced to assume that you are now surprisingly attractive, as well. That's the way out goes with the person I never noticed in school.
Of course, part of it might be that my definition of attractive grew up to be a lot healthier than it was when I was a kid.
I'm flattered! I have less hair, no beard, and a lot more muscle.
Unfortunately my ex-wife really fucked with my self-image so I don't actually know how attractive I am or not. Plus I'm like anti-photogenic, I just can't get a good picture.