this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2025
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Following Linda Yaccarino’s departure as CEO of X this morning, Elon Musk wasted no time holding a press conference to announce her successor: a ouija board with a direct supernatural connection to the ghost of Adolf Hitler.

“This ouija board was Linda’s natural successor!” Musk yelled into the microphone, brandishing the board above his head with the enthusiasm of a hyperactive toddler at Christmas. “Finally, my company will be run by someone who understands what we at X are trying to do: champion anti-semitism and spread Nazi ideology with seemingly zero repercussions.”

Musk took a moment to passionately kiss the ouija board before adding, “I speak to Adolf every morning now, and he’s got some great ideas for what we should do with X moving forward. I particularly liked his idea to make a new Swastika checkmark if you qualify as a member of what he calls the ‘Master Race’.” [...]

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