this post was submitted on 04 Nov 2024
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Things in poor neighborhoods are done differently than in middle- and upper- class neighborhoods. People that grow up in poor neighborhoods develop behaviors, customs, and beliefs that are different from other neighborhoods because they are part of surviving in the struggle. When they move on up, some of those behaviors, customs, and beliefs are no longer necessary and can even be harmful (e.g. strong reactions to perceived attacks). Others may actually provide an advantage (e.g. living through power outages). Regardless, these changes can cause a sense of estrangement from their childhood and original culture, leading to some resistance. Given all that:

What did you change and what did you keep?

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (27 children)

"the sticks" doesn't mean poor, it just means in the countryside (at least in the UK). On the estate(s) would be correct for us.

I didn't grow up particularly poor, but became poor upon moving out of the family home. This led to making do with very limited ingredients, finding bargains, and that has stuck with me ever since. I've saved a lot of money down the years, can live very frugally for a period of time when I really need to, and as such became a homeowner because I knew how to knuckle down and avoid unnecessary expenditure, perhaps to the detriment of my health at times.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 8 months ago (5 children)

Americans tend to equate "county" with "poor" because they don't have first-hand experience with country people. They might also be confused because ostentatious displays of wealth are considered tacky here in the South.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 8 months ago (2 children)

I'm from the rural South and there are plenty of ostentatious displays of wealth. Particularly surrounding how your home looks - decorating for every single holiday for no reason comes to mind.

Plenty of rural Americans are super poor. It generally takes more money to live in the city so that should make some sense. I grew up rural poor - my family were partially subsistence farmers, cutting our grocery bill.

To answer the question from OP - I'm not sure I count as properly middle class but I'm definitely more stable than I was growing up, so I'll say my biggest changes are being more conscious of what I look and smell like. When you're poor, everything smells like whatever's on sale. I have kept my tendency to overbuy during sales for anything is shelf stable for long periods of time even if I already have plenty.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

When you’re poor, everything smells like whatever’s on sale.

That's right!! For me, it was like whatever I had that was nice. If someone got me a nice shirt, I would protect that shirt and only wear it to special events that I knew would not place the shirt in any danger (physical activity, stains from cooking or painting, etc.). I kind of still do that and have a few shirts that are ~20 years old, a backpack that is 23 years old, and a multi-tool that's about 21 yrs old. Never though that was associated with growing up poor, but it makes sense now.

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