Casual Conversation

3379 readers

683 users here now

Share a story, ask a question, or start a conversation about (almost) anything you desire. Maybe you'll make some friends in the process.

RULES

Be respectful: no harassment, hate speech, bigotry, and/or trolling.
Encourage conversation in your OP. This means including heavily implicative subject matter when you can and also engaging in your thread when possible.
Avoid controversial topics (e.g. politics or societal debates).
Stay calm: Don’t post angry or to vent or complain. We are a place where everyone can forget about their everyday or not so everyday worries for a moment. Venting, complaining, or posting from a place of anger or resentment doesn't fit the atmosphere we try to foster at all. Feel free to post those on [email protected]
Keep it clean and SFW
No solicitation such as ads, promotional content, spam, surveys etc.

Casual conversation communities:

Related discussion-focused communities

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

178

I fucking hate Christmas. (lemmy.world)

submitted 5 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

57 comments fedilink hide all child comments

On December 24th, 2008 I was almost 21 and drinking wine at my Grandma's house with my family. We were having a good time. I don't really talk to that side of the family anymore though. I got a phone call from my best friend, Kyle. I joking let my uncle answer. Kyle asked to talk to me. He sounded angry.

The next few words he said were like a a fucking nuclear bomb that seared my fucking brain for life. He said, "NineMileTower, Steve died (in Iraq). A bridge gave out, his hummer flipped, and he drowned."

That was in 2008. I'm 37 now. I have two beautiful girls and an amazing wife. I think of Steve all the time. I ask myself, "Why do I deserve these amazing kids, wife and life, and he had to die?"

I fucking hate Christmas. I hate the stupid music. I hate fake bullshit decorations. I hate that I'm supposed to pretend that every Christmas it doesn't fucking kill me that he isn't here. I'm here enjoying my kids and their holiday and he's dead.

I fucking hate Christmas.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago (3 children)

If your partner doesn't properly value your feelings and doesn't support you in your vulnerable moments, that is a bad sign for the relationship.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

The point is many women are also impacted by toxic masculinity and will not positively receive their guy opening up / crying.

It's not just a "be yourself dude" dynamic for many, many men.

For better or worse everyone in their orbit expects a certain behavior

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

strongly describes how most women treat men.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

That relationship is over but that wasn’t the reason it ended. My point is that my willingness to share my feelings wasn’t seen as a sign of strength and I wasn’t supported for doing so. The relationship actually worked better for quite a while after that when I learned to take care of my own feelings (as I do now as a single person).

I think we as a society idealize one type of relationship where your partner is everything to you: lover, best friend, therapist, mentor, tennis partner… It’s not realistic and I think it’s a major reason so few relationships succeed nowadays. Most people are simply not equipped to be all those things for another person.