this post was submitted on 02 Jan 2025
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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
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I sit on my throne like a king.
I sit down every time I go to piss because it's one if the few places where I can be sure I'll be left alone. It's not about the piss. It's about the break.
It's also about not spraying piss all over my floor
Or having both hands for the phone, or not needing to blind yourself with a light in the middle of the night. So many reasons.
Mark your territory, boy.
Someone doesn't just get followed into the bathroom I see.
Thank fuck, tbh.
Yes, I too like it spraying urine on my balls and pecker as I piss like a racehorse and it ricochets off the front of the bowl.
Oh you'd hate to know about how when you shit sitting down you get Poseidon's kiss.
That's why I shit standing up like a real man
While standing, do you shit directly into the water so that all the women in your vicinity get aroused by the sound of the splash or are you a stealth shitting fuckboy like Anon? And how exactly do you aim? So many questions.
You face towards the toilet, stand right on the toilet seat, and aim the shit directly into the water.
That gives you highest drop distance for maximum splash sound and maximum bitches.
And tuck them like a eunuch.