Bikini Bottom Twitter

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Ahoy, me buckos! Welcome to Bikini Bottom Twitter! Your digital reef for the latest salty gossip and treasure tales! And while you're at it, be sure to drop by the Krusty Krab for a delicious Krabby Patty so I can get yer mon- err I mean, 'cause they're the best treat under the sea!

Rule 1 - This is Bikini Bottom Twitter, all posts should be Spongebob related in "(Old-School) Twitter-like" form

Rule 2 - Political posts, as long as it follows rule 1, will be permitted, so long as you behave yourselves.

Bikini Bottom Municipal Code §33-07: Anti-Tankie Ordinance Residents are prohibited from circulating tankie ideology or other authoritarian propaganda on Bikini Bottom Twitter. Offenders will be permanently banned from BPT by the BBPD faster than Plankton is ejected from The Krusty Krab.

Rule 3 - Please no reposts within the last couple days, at least

Rule 4 - All posts should be at least above a "Squirdward-krusty-krab-shift" level of effort

Rule 5 - Be chill, be a Patrick not a squidward.

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me 5 min ago (lemmy.world)

submitted 3 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Wait, you don't poop first?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Wait, you don't poop during?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago

I waffle stomp all the time

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

I have a pre-existing injury that causes lots of pain in lots of contexts.

I've found that, especially recently, using the toilet greatly enhances the pain, sometimes to debilitating levels. Now I have to decide whether to use the toilet then shower, leaving me feeling clean but down for the count; or to use the shower then the toilet, leaving me at lower pain levels but feeling gross all day.

Neither seems like a good option. The best option I've found is to use the toilet, clean myself as best I'm able, lay down for a while, then shower; however, it can be hard to fit this in a work day or any day when I have obligations.

Now you know a bit more about me. It's your fault, you asked.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Spend $30 and buy a bidet attachment off of amazon you deserve better than your current painful poo regime.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

While I appreciate that, I have a bidet. The source of my pain is the physical act of sitting in that position, rather than anything specifically related to the act or cleanup.

I've considered getting a squatty potty (or equivalent stool (heh)), but I'm not sure if that would make things better or worse.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

We gotta design you a standing toilet or something

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Haha, I don't think I've discussed my toilet habits as extensively with a stranger before.

The injury I mentioned was to one of my legs, which unfortunately means that prolonged standing also hurts. If something to change the position in which I sit doesn't help, my next step will be to replace the toilet with one with different ergonomics.

I do appreciate the thought!

edit: relieve/replace